Tips for taking criticism without falling apart.

WriterMisfit (circa 2000) ROCKED the criticism.

As a healthy living community we rarely chat about the skill of taking CRITICISM without falling apart.

We’ve focused on the importance of accepting a compliment gracefully.

I’ve yammered before–and believe it as important as ever–how deflecting or diminishing a nicety denigrates the giver (never our intent).

We infrequently discuss how much better (take my word for it) and easier (yes! yes!) life is when you DON’T amble through it internalizing criticism as life-ending critique.

You didnt like my book? No worries!

For me acquiring the skill has been a lifelong process.

Yet, now that I possess it (for the most part. Im human), I can see how it’s equally as pivotal for life success & life-happiness as as being able to take a compliment.

The ability to hear, accept, and not grow defensive as a result of constructive criticism has helped me grow (as a writer. as a sister, mother, wife, friend.) and deepened bonds of trust in my relationships.

You think my tattoos an unsightly mistake? That’s ok!

The ability to assimilate criticism well is not something we’re born with— it’s a learned skill.

I’d never considered this until it came time to teach an uber-sensitive seven year old about graciously accepting thoughts/ideas she may *not* wish to hear.

Only in attempting to explain the concept to her did I realize it’s like a muscle. 

Taking criticism with aplomb is a trait we need to build & keep strengthened in order to maintain (OOOH fitness tie-in!).

Before I share my tips it bears clarifying I’m operating on the assumption our criticism-profferer is someone whose opinion we value/are compelled to value.  A loved-one, family member, friend, boss etc.

4 Tips For Taking Criticism Without Breaking a Sweat:

1. Dont be a seven year old. This is the most basic of tips and yet the most commonly done. Dont lash back at the criticizer. As we’ve talked about with compliments sit with the words for a moment.  Do not reflexively reciprocate with criticism of your own.

2. Listen. Internalize. Do a body-check. Ask yourself where you feel the *stress* of the critical words? Neck? Pit-of-stomach? Shoulders? Work the mind/muscle connection & focus on relaxing those areas both during & after the criticism-experience.  Physical relaxation serves to lessen the mental-stress of the critique.

3. “If this weren’t ME…” Step back & ask yourself what youd think if the words were *not* directed toward you. I frequently do this with criticism of my writing.  I pause, read critiques through lens of Reader NOT Writer & gauge my reaction. Often if not always my response becomes one of Oh yes! That does improve upon my message.

4. Remind yourself imperfections do *not* make you a failure. Life *is* our healthy living mantra of progress not perfection. No one is perfect & none arrive here with the ability to receive criticism without breaking a sweat stride. Each time I offer Tornado constructive criticism she & I also chat about how my parents “helped” me in this fashion.  We discuss how striving to smooth some of our rough edges or imperfections does NOT make us failures.

learning to take criticism is a process…

I cannot emphasize enough how the life-skill of taking constructive criticism & integrating without ‘anger’ has helped me grow as a person.

And, if said growth/accompanying pain-at-times isnt enough for you freelance writer types, editors adore working with me because they know I welcome rewrite-suggestions without doing number one above.

Never a bad thing.

And you?

When you’re on the receiving end of constructive criticism how do YOU respond?

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Isometrics: Get in Shape without Moving a Muscle (guest post)

Isometrics are a method of training where you squeeze your muscles without moving.

Think about pushing against a wall, or holding a plank. There is no movement, but your muscles are definitely working.

There are 2 types of isometrics:

Yielding isometrics.Overcoming isometrics.

In yielding isometrics you’re trying to prevent motion. Think about a plank or a wall sit (remember that exercise your 8th grade gym teacher made you do?). You’re trying not to move.

In overcoming isometrics, you’re trying to cause motion. Think about pushing against a wall.

The Benefits of Isometrics

Isometrics have a number of advantages:

They don’t require any equipment. How’s that for not having any excuse not to exercise?They don’t require much time.They don’t cause muscle soreness to nearly the same extent as “regular” exercise. Muscle soreness is caused primarily by lowering weights. For example, when you’re doing curls, it’s on the way down where most of the muscle “damage” occurs. Since with isometrics, there is no movement, the muscle damage is minimal. It may feel uncomfortable while you’re doing it, but very little soreness comes of it.You can get very strong very fast. Because there is such intense focus on a very specific point, strength improves very quickly… but it also plateaus quickly (usually in 3-8 weeks).

The Drawbacks of Isometrics

It’s tough to maintain your motivation. With “normal” exercises, you can quantify the amount of weight you used. So at least part of the motivation that comes from lifting weights is getting stronger. You know you get stronger when you can lift heavier weights.Isometrics only make you stronger at the position that you hold. So imagine holding a biceps curl with your elbows bent at 90 degrees. The strength that you gain will only carry over 15 degrees to each direction. So you have to use isometrics in several different positions.Isometrics don’t produce the same metabolism-boosting effect as “regular” exercise. To a great extent, the reason that metabolism is elevated after “regular” exercise is because the muscles are “damaged”, and the body requires a lot of energy (calories) to repair that damage. Since there is less muscle damage, the metabolism doesn’t speed up as much.

As you can see, isometrics have both benefits and drawbacks. So are they good or bad?

As I’m very fond of telling my clients, “there is no good or bad. There is only correct application.”

So what’s the correct application for isometrics? Here are just a few ways to use them:

How to Use Isometrics

If your goal is fat loss:

When it comes to fat loss, “regular” exercise, through a full range of motion is best. But in those cases when you simply don’t have time or don’t have equipment, isometrics are a handy substitute.

If you’re trying to lose body fat, use exercises that work several muscles at the same time, and hold each position for 40-70 seconds. Repeat it for 3-4 sets.

This will be a very simple 12-15 minute workout.

If your goal is strengthening:

Figure out which movement you want to strengthen. Now, figure out where the hardest part of the movement is for you. Let’s use the squat as an example. For some people, the hardest part of a squat is the first couple of inches from the very bottom. For other people, it’s just 4-6 inches shy of full extension.

Let’s say that you’re one of those people for whom the weakest part is 4 inches from full extension. What you would do is you would simply hold that position for 8-12 sets of 4-6 seconds. In a matter of 2-4 weeks, that will no longer be a weak spot for you.

So What Are Some Exercises You Can Do?

For your upper body:

Static pushups (works the chest, front of the shoulder and back of the arm). Get down to 1 inch off the ground and hold.

Static lat pulldowns (works the biceps and the sides of the back). Pull the bar down to about 90 degrees and hold.

Lateral raises. Raise the dumbbells until they are parallel with the floor and hold.

For the lower body:

Wall sits. Put your back against the wall, and lower your body until your knees are at 90 degrees. Hold until you cry.

Static split squats. These are a favourite (yep, the Canadian way to spell it. Eh) of mine because they build strength and flexibility together. Stand with a chair or bench behind you. Put one leg on the chair, and then squat. Hold the bottom position.

That’s it!

There you have it! Hopefully this gives you an idea of how to add isometrics to your training arsenal when it’s necessary.

If you have any questions, please post them below, and I’ll be sure to answer.
Igor was selected as one of the top 5 personal trainer in Toronto by the Metro News newspaper. He is the author of a book called “Unlimited Progress: How You Can Unlock Your Body’s Potential.” He is a self-described information junkie, and loves to study and educate himself on all aspects of fitness and nutrition.

Edited to say: Want some Miz on yer friday? Im over at (my.fave.) Guiliana Rancic‘s FabFitFun today talking about GETTING FIT and *staying* fit for the rest of your life…

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Lose Weight WITHOUT Dieting (Animal Kingdom Workouts)

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Train Your Brain to Stop Overeating - Self hypnosis CD to Curb the Appetite, Eat Healthier and Lose Weight without Dieting

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Indulge Without Bulge

Sorry, I could not read the content fromt this page.

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Ask Roni_v43: Weight Loss without Working Out, All or Nothing Mentality, Starting a Weight Loss Blog, Keeping Things Fresh, Life is a Struggle.

I’m back this week with a video! Space issue temporarily solved. And yes.. yet another new hairstyle/color. What can I say? I needed a change. ;)

Topics covered in this weeks video/podcast…

Weight Loss without Working OutBalancing working out and time with family. Preventing the All-or-Nothing mentality. Starting a Weight Loss BlogHow do I keep things fresh in the snack department?Life is a Struggle? How I found my way.

Links mentioned in video…

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