Wednesday Weigh In: The Scale Has Nothing For Me Today

Sometimes I just don’t know how to start a post and this is one of those times.

I’ve been feeling … dare I say it … fat.

Stop rolling your eyes. I know. I know. But sometimes it’s the only word that captures that uncomfortable, thick, unhappy, self-conscious, blah feeling. I’m trying hard to remove the connection in my brain between “fat” and “feelings,” but it’s pretty deep rooted. We’re talking years of dysfunctional thinking here.

The official Tough Mudder Photos were released and like last year, my inner mean girl is really letting loose.

She has me focusing on all the wrong things. Again.

I’m so over listening to her yell about my weight and body size. I really am. Especially when I’m doing things like this.

And this.

And this.

(OMG, I’m STILL freaking out about the Plank and I’ve done it 6 damn times!)

I decided a long time ago that my body is and will be a product of my lifestyle. I refuse to starve myself and focus on particular body parts all in the name of sculpting some perfect body. This is me.

I’m a 37-year-old mom who likes CrossFit, running, and ice cream all way too much. If we can figure out how to add more hours in the day, I’d love to take a yoga class here and there. I’m happily married to a junk-food junkie who brought Doritos to bed last night and supports me in all my crazy adventures. I’m almost always smiling and I consciously work on being happy, grateful and content. It’s not always easy but I’ve learned it’s worth it.  I’m also, apparently, out of focus.

This is my favorite photo they captured.

Not because of the way my body looks, but because when I saw it, the first thing I noticed was my smiling face and it immediately brought back the sense of accomplishment I felt when I crossed that finish line.

I’m sorry I hijacked our Wednesday Weigh In post this week, but I needed to get this out of my head. The scale really doesn’t have anything for me today. I didn’t need to weigh in. I needed to write this post.

Inner mean girl  must not have liked it too much. I can barely hear her now.

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“Nothing” Food

Here’s what’s in my fridge as of this morning, April 25, 2012: 3 packages of Shiritaki Noodles, a quarter-full bag of shredded carrots, a half-full bag of spinach, a container of grape tomatoes, five crimini mushrooms, a near-full container of Daisy Light sour cream, half a bottle of shiraz (it’s one red wine I like chilled), leftover tofu and veggies from yesterday’s Mad Mex fajitas, a couple bottles of salad dressing, some light string cheese, condiments (the holy trinity: ketchup, mustard and light Miracle Whip), a container of light butter, and a half dozen eggs. And a jar of horseradish and some tahini. There might also be some strawberry jelly and maple syrup in there, too, now that I think about it.

Clearly I need to go to the grocery store, but – along with some cupboard staples and a few things in the freezer – I have food enough for me for a day or two. Seven years ago, if I opened my fridge and saw Shiritaki noodles, spinach, mushrooms, carrots and tomatoes, I’d have said, “There’s nothing to eat in here!” and promptly picked up the phone and ordered what constituted real food at the time: pizza and cheese bread sticks.

Old Me didn’t completely avoid “nothing” foods. I’d eat fruit. I loved strawberries, blueberries, and apples, especially when they were surrounded by a pastry shell or sat atop a big bowl of Neapolitan and covered in fudge sauce. I liked veggies, too, but their little tiny portions got shoved to the side of the plate, nearly buried under a mound of cheese potatoes or some breaded chicken or pasta monstrosity. Eat a salad for dinner? Sure! As long as there were plenty of French fries, shredded cheddar, and ranch dressing on top!

Sometimes Old Me pops in for a visit, and for a moment, I see the world through her eyes. This morning, when I opened my fridge, the first thing I thought was, ‘There’s nothing in here.’ But as quickly as that thought came, that thought dissolved, and I saw the eggs and cheese and I imagined an omelet. Old Me would have been halfway to Eat ‘n Park for pancakes. I saw the spinach and tomatoes and planned lunch. Old Me would have debated whether to drive through McDonald’s or Wendy’s for lunch on her way to the grocery store. I saw veggie soup and one lone veggie burger in my freezer and that will be dinner. Old Me would have bought all the fixings for manicotti and garlic bread.

I’m not dissin’ Old Me. I give Old Me a lot of credit. Sure, she can be annoying sometimes, especially when she whispers, “What’s one more piece of chocolate? Go ahead, Lynn, you deserve it.” But even though she put away a lot of chicken nuggets back in the day, she eventually took off her blinders and saw the contents of the fridge and gave “nothing” food a chance. So later, in her honor, I’ll raise a glass of shiraz and thank her for making me who I am today.

Cheers!

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I’ve Got Nothing

Nope.

Not a thing.

Bloggers Block.

So I’m just gonna start typing…

I’m sitting here with The Husband watching Parks & Rec. We just got the kids to bed after a relaxing night with the boys…

It really was relaxing. Thursday is Little Bean’s Day Care day so I didn’t have to juggle everything in between naps, which was nice. BUT I threw out my back, so I didn’t get anything done that I couldn’t accomplish on the couch with a heating pad. :(

I did have 3 calls today, 2 potential FitBloggin’ sponsors and 1 potential GreenLiteBites sponsor. I’m always amazed how much time you can burn on the phone.

For a mid-morning snack I made myself a fun Orange Julius inspired drink…

Turning mine green with a little spinach. :)

I also posted about Little Bean’s favorite finger foods on Baby’s First Year…

Other than that I kept my food journal, cooked the family dinner and helped Little Guy with his homework.

All in all a fabulously low key day.

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Nothing Like A Good Apple

Sometimes my arthritis gives me a snit, like a grounded teenager, and I need to grab an apple and sit in the sunshine. It works for all kinds of pain. Try it and see. Because even when the world feels sucky, an apple will taste good. And while you eat, birds will still sing, the sun will warm you deep into your joints, the breeze will move your hair into and out of your eyes, and the dog laying at your feet will wait patiently for you to be done eating so he can have the core.

Just make sure you pick a good apple, firm and crisp and brightly colored. Your time’s too precious to waste on a mushy one.

Never settle for bad apples. Or wilted lettuce. Because sometimes sorting through pain is like picking a piece of eggshell out of a bowl of egg whites. The little slivers slips through your fingers the first and second and third time you try to get them out, and you’re left with sticky fingers and swear words on the tip of your tongue. But in the end, a good apple will give you respite.

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Congratulations to Gayle and Amy who won the latest workout DVD giveaways! Lots of email entries this time...thank you! It's always so good to hear from you guys. More giveaways in the upcoming weeks, including a visit from my favorite misfit!

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Ask Roni_v43: Weight Loss without Working Out, All or Nothing Mentality, Starting a Weight Loss Blog, Keeping Things Fresh, Life is a Struggle.

I’m back this week with a video! Space issue temporarily solved. And yes.. yet another new hairstyle/color. What can I say? I needed a change. ;)

Topics covered in this weeks video/podcast…

Weight Loss without Working OutBalancing working out and time with family. Preventing the All-or-Nothing mentality. Starting a Weight Loss BlogHow do I keep things fresh in the snack department?Life is a Struggle? How I found my way.

Links mentioned in video…

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