Me: ((in sarcastic, smart-ass voice)) Yeah! Do your job and light that fireplace.
Health-hater: I am doing my job. And what the hell are YOU doing?
Me: ((no response))
Husband: Oh, that’s right. You ARE doing your job. You’re laying on the couch.
Me: ((no response))
—-
How am I supposed to respond to that? Couch-assing is definitely my job.
Me: Oooo. He forgot to eat his eggroll. I want it.
Me again: Ehhh, maybe not. I don’t need it.
Egg Roll: You know you want me. I’m all warm & golden brown with tasty Asian flavors.
Me: I do NOT need this egg roll. It’s been fried. It looks greasy.
Egg Roll: You know you want me. Just one bite. Go ahead.
Me: Maybe I’ll just have one bite…
(The egg roll is now gone. I ate the whole damn thing. So what. It was delicious.)
