I’m still in Chicago and feeling all sorts of inspired. It’s so energizing to be around so many women doing their thing, and the older I get the more I appreciate this type of environment.
Tonight was the second annual BlogHer Fashion Show and I shed a tear of happiness. There is nothing I love more than to see women of all shapes and sizes celebrate and OWN who they are.
our bodies be amazing!The older I become the more I realize life is cyclical.
When I was younger I EXPECTED my body to perform on command—and usually it did.
These days when my bod complies I stop, take note and appreciate.
pause for applause!I *long* to pass this body confidence on to the Tornado and yet—while it’s a huge priority—I pretty much fly by the seat pants fancy tights.
I strive each day to beat back the influence of peers/pop culture & model for her how to look inside herself for validation/approval.
It was easier when she was younger.
Look mama! I. Awesome!Yet the fact she still adores her body for the amazing vessel it is feels like a victory.
she’s her own superhero…for now.Youve emailed, facebooked, texted, tweeted, & direct messaged me for tips and, while Ive insisted I possess none, I shall share my Tips Which Really Arent.
All four of them.
My “pants flying praying for Tornado body confidence” distilled to four confusing, muddled easy to grasp items:
Try new things with your body. When the Tornado was younger all she cared about was I’d play. She didnt notice how “good” or “bad” I was at our games. Now she notices and Ive harnessed this “noticing” to my advantage. She recognizes when Im exiting my comfort zone (hello SCOOTERING), she sees when I struggle & fail, she watches as I laugh/try again, and she encourages me to take on new challenges. Practice what you long to preach…and theres no need to say a word. This is the logical extension of the above yet took me YEARS to realize. Whether you think the little person OR BIG PERSON in your life notices model the behavior you wish them to mimic. Try new things & *loudly* acknowledge how fab they felt/what you learned about your body. Attend your first zumba class and realize you are INDEED as AWKWARD as you’d surmised? Seize the opportunity to share how youd always taken for granted how powerful & natural you feel when you run.
they mimic. they mimic.Allow your child(ren) to struggle. This has been a challenge. I know, however, if I dont let her struggle she’ll never emerge the other side confident in what her body can do. Recently this has been with soccer (you can do it!! I know you can get the ball!!) & her pride after pushing herself/learning her body was stronger than she’d thought was palpable. Im aware these challenges will increase as she gets older & I know she needs to learn how powerful her body is now to get through. My telling her is merely hollow praise.
This took repeated attempts.SHED THE SCALE. Yes all caps. Yes I feel strongly about this. YES YES YES. I shed the scale 19 years ago & never returned. As with negative self-talk obsessive weighing is something kids see and emulate. Im aware this is a controversial tip (for many the scale is a healthy tool in the arsenal) yet if daily-weighing is part of your routine Id suggest doing so at the gym etc. Dont model frequent scale-checks for your child who may not yet be able to grasp the “just a tool” concept.
use pants as a nonscale check-in?These tips are only whats worked for our misfit-trio (Im not sure you want to raise a child who believes tiny home scales are “steppers to the shower.” seriously. it’s a little weird).
And you?
whats your best tip for teaching/modeling body confidence to the little and big people in your life?
I know it’s weigh in day but I have something more important to talk about so I’m going to go with my gut instead of some self imposed editorial calendar which I’ve been mostly ignoring anyway.
It’s one way I’m working on my confidence today. I need too.
Since Monday morning I’ve been in funkville.
The Husband has been working around the clock. Little Bean’s been going through a clingy, whiny, pay-attention-to-me-every-waking-moment stage. The 7 year old is, well, a 7 year old, so everything goes in one ear and out the other.
I’m also coming off the high of running the 2 events this weekend. Returning to the daily grind is always a let down after a super fun weekend. Isn’t it?
Anyway, I’m noticing my own fickle confidence cycle.
There are times I am simply a confident woman.
I feel
empowered,
successful,
motivated,
determined,
fearless,
on top of the world!
Other times I’m like an insecure teenager.
I feel
unappreciated,
unloved,
mopey,
distant,
alone.
Of course my food choices and overall kindness to myself depends greatly on which mode I’m in. "Insecure teenage" tends to turn to food to make herself feel better. Nothing she sees in the mirror will every be good enough. And she assumes no ones likes her, not even her husband who just happens to be too busy at the moment to notice.
"Confident woman," on the other hand, knows food doesn’t cure anything. She treats herself with kindness and feeds her soul with gratitude. She knows the world doesn’t revolve around her and is totally ok with it. She takes nothing personally. She courageously forges ahead on her goals knowing she’s on the right path.
I choose to be "confident woman" but sometimes "insecure teenager" sneaks in the back door. Once I realize she’s in town I do my bet to escort her off the premises but it requires some muscle and a little willpower.
Today I told her to leave me alone and after a little arguing, I’m left a confident woman once again.
Now that you all think I’m crazy I shall go to bed.
Confident woman has a date with the gym in the morning.
The other day I received an email from a reader who recently completed her first half marathon.
Let’s think about that for a minute…
Her first HALF Marathon!
That’s just over 13 miles.
THIRTEEN MILES!
When was the last time you ran 13 miles? (No comments form those uber athletes that may be reading. I’m talk to those of us who are newer to the world of fitness.)
Instead of being proud of her amazing accomplishment she focused on all the things she could have done better.
ohh that perfection gene is a killer, isn’t it?
Listen guys, it’s taken me a long time to get to where I am (funny enough to say as I’m typing this at 6:30 AM before heading out for my Saturday Tough Mudder Training) and I STILL battle this mindset a little. Let me stress A LITTLE because it does start to fade the more goals you set and achieve.
The voice goes from a scream to a whisper when you start to accomplish things despite of it telling you, you aren’t good enough, fast enough, skinny enough, worthy enough.
It does.
I promise.
You have to just. keep. moving. forward.
Part of my response to this email was…
Keep doing what you’re doing. Set goals and reach them.. your confidence will catch up to your awesomeness. I promise. :)
Although, it had more typos in it because my brain works faster than my fingers most of the time. When I read emails like this I respond from my heart, it’s a visceral reaction because I know it’s what I need to hear myself. These insecure feelings I have held me back for so long and I’m shocked they are so common. There are so many of us whose body image and weight issues stem from a lack of confidence and sense of worth.
I will continue to ignore my inner voice and move forward.
I will continue to set goals and reach them.
And I hope you will too.
Now.. off to training! I’m gonna be late!
Body Confidence is a revolutionary approach based on three key nutrition factors that stabilize your blood sugar and keep your body in balance:
But there’s much more to Body Confidence than when and what you eat. You’ll become a master at:
Body Confidence creator Mark Macdonald knows that weight loss doesn’t happen in a vacuum, and he has made room for “real life” at every stage of this program. Along the way, you’ll be introduced to some of Venice Nutrition’s extraordinary success stories, and learn how to stay on track no matter what life throws at you. Packed with recipes, nutrition guides, exercise journals, and Venice Nutrition’s proven goal-setting tools, Body Confidence walks you through every step of a process that has already changed thousands of lives.
Getting in shape (and staying in shape) no longer has to mean feeling deprived and hungry, living with low energy, being irritable and anxious, or obsessing about food and exercise. There is a way to make looking and feeling your best a permanent way of life.
A Q&A between Chelsea Handler and Mark MacDonald
Chelsea Handler is an accomplished stand-up comic and actress, as well as the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. She is the star of her own late-night show on E!, Chelsea Lately; was one of the stars of Girls Behaving Badly; and has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as well as Late Night with David Letterman.
Handler: Seriously, how can eating more meals actually get rid of my muffin top?
MacDonald: I know, it goes against all the dieting rules. We are trained to think, eat less, move more, and lose fat. This may work for a moment, but soon your body stops progressing, because your body actually holds onto fat when you skip meals. The reality is your body is a "re-fuel as it goes" machine. Meaning, you need to eat balanced meals throughout the day to maintain a steady supply of energy. By eating right when you get up, then every 3–4 hours, and then before bed, your blood sugar levels and hormones will stay in balance. This state of balance causes your body to consistently release its stored fat, which then gets burned as energy in your muscle tissue. This is how your muffin top will permanently become a thing of the past!
Handler: You know I love my Belvedere; can I drink on the program and still get lean?
MacDonald: Of course! The last thing I would ever remove from your program is your Belvedere! The cool thing is that making your program part of your world is never about what you cannot have; it is actually about being clear on what you want and then working together to fit that into your program. Belvedere and all alcohol is totally fine in moderation. The trick is to find the right balance with your food, exercise, and alcohol to ensure that you achieve your Body Confidence goals. Here are three adjustments to make when it is Belvedere time that will keep your metabolism humming and minimize the effects of alcohol:
Handler: Mark, you know my schedule gets crazier by the day; how can I make it all work?
MacDonald: Tell me about it! Making your health work is never about doing more; it is actually about becoming better and more efficient at what you do. This way, whether you are going on location to tape Chelsea Lately in Australia, or performing a show at Caesars Palace or just powering through a hectic day in LA, you will have the tools to keep your blood sugar balanced and your muscles optimally activated to burn your body fat up, without having to do more!
With your food, it is a simple process. You will quickly know the right amount of calories, protein, fat, and carbs per meal and then basically you can eat any food, any time, as long as it stays in the right combination. This provides you the flexibility to eat anywhere your day takes you and still stay on plan. Now with your exercise, let’s get each training session working at maximum capacity. We need a combination of fat burning and high intensity cardio, utilizing the best movements to activate all of your muscle fibers (since fat is burned in muscle). Then once your cardio is dialed in, strength training is next. Since your goal is to be lean and tight, the best type of training for you is core training, like Pilates. Core training will work your entire body and also activate maximum muscle fibers. There you have it Chelsea, real solutions on how to make it all work. You will be spending the same time on your food and exercise as you currently spend, with much greater results and the knowledge to keep your health momentum rolling!Price: $26.99
