Fickle Confidence

I know it’s weigh in day but I have something more important to talk about so I’m going to go with my gut instead of some self imposed editorial calendar which I’ve been mostly ignoring anyway.

It’s one way I’m working on my confidence today. I need too.

Since Monday morning I’ve been in funkville.

The Husband has been working around the clock. Little Bean’s been going through a clingy, whiny, pay-attention-to-me-every-waking-moment stage. The 7 year old is, well, a 7 year old, so everything goes in one ear and out the other.

I’m also coming off the high of running the 2 events this weekend. Returning to the daily grind is always a let down after a super fun weekend. Isn’t it?

Anyway, I’m noticing my own fickle confidence cycle.

There are times I am simply a confident woman.

I feel

empowered,

successful,

motivated,

determined,

fearless,

on top of the world!

Other times I’m like an insecure teenager.

I feel

unappreciated,

unloved,

mopey,

distant,

alone.

Of course my food choices and overall kindness to myself depends greatly on which mode I’m in. "Insecure teenage" tends to turn to food to make herself feel better. Nothing she sees in the mirror will every be good enough. And she assumes no ones likes her, not even her husband who just happens to be too busy at the moment to notice.

"Confident woman," on the other hand, knows food doesn’t cure anything. She treats herself with kindness and feeds her soul with gratitude. She knows the world doesn’t revolve around her and is totally ok with it. She takes nothing personally. She courageously forges ahead on her goals knowing she’s on the right path.

I choose to be "confident woman" but sometimes "insecure teenager" sneaks in the back door. Once I realize she’s in town I do my bet to escort her off the premises but it requires some muscle and a little willpower.

Today I told her to leave me alone and after a little arguing, I’m left a confident woman once again.

Now that you all think I’m crazy I shall go to bed.

Confident woman has a date with the gym in the morning.

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