Put It In Your Food Trap! Zevia Natural Soda, Barbara’s Baked Cheese Puffs, and Quaker Hearts Cereal

…but before we get into this round of featured Food Trap selections, I first need to bitch to you excessively about the Attune Mint Chocolate Probiotic Bar. I drove 35 freaking miles round trip because the Attune store locator said the Bar was carried at this hippie-ish natural food store that’s real out of the way ‘n such. So I drive really far (on my lunch break, at that) and the store doesn’t have the damn Bars. Attune Chocolate is highly delicious and probiotically beneficial. I’ve been wanting another taste for close to a year now, but I’m done searching high and low, and racking up vehicle mileage in an expedition to find this elusive bionic chocolate bar. Yes, you can order it online, but you also have to pay a premium for heat-sensitive shipping. I’m too cheap for that. Oh, and somebody owes me gas money.

Zevia Ginger Ale Natural Soda: Lemme just break it down to you like it says on the can: “Zevia contains no sugar and no calories. It’s made with 100% natural ingredients, including Stevia, a botanical sweetener used around the world for hundreds of years. It’s what soda should always have been.” Nice! It also contains the sugar alcohol erythritol, which doesn’t effect blood sugar and is no big deal to me (unless you get gassy from it). Zevia is decent tasting. It reminds me of store brand ginger ale — not terrible but not the #1 best ginger ale either. I detected a slight aftertaste after slurping a few gulps, but still definitely worth trying if you can find it at the store. I also peeped Cola, Orange and Grape flavors of Zevia.

No caffeine, no gluten, zero net carbs. Zero calories and fat, Sodium 20mg, Sugars 0, Erythritol 7g, Protein 0g

Barbara’s Baked Cheese Puffs: It’s a cheese puff. How fancy could it be? Welp, the natural cheesiness really shines through. And it’s made with cornmeal, which gives it a pleasant texture and taste that’s NOT like the others. Consider it a healthier side item to eat alongside a sammich or while couch-assing. Barbara’s Baked Cheese Puffs have no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives, and no hydrogenated oils either, so it empowers you to get puffy with no guilt. Unfortunately, I allowed Greedy Kid #3 to run off with the bag after dinner. I trusted him. But by bed time the whole dang thing was empty. Yes, I’m a terrible mother for insufficiently monitoring the child’s greediness. Just go on and say it, why don’t ya.

150 Cal for 1.5 cups, Fat Cal 90, Total Fat 10g, Sodium 200mg, Carbs 14g, Fiber 1g, Sugars 1g, Protein 2g

Quaker Hearts Cereal: This one can be accurately described as “fake Alpha-Bit’s cereal for grown-ass folks and kids who eat too much damn sugary shit”. It has pretty much the same feel, size and visual texture of the infamous Alpha-Bit, but with a tad less sugar and shaped like little hearts instead of bits of broken off vocabulary pieces. The taste is highly Alpha-Bitsy with the perfect low-key touch of sweetness to encourage continued cereal whoredom to prevail. I freaking love it, but still not able to find Hearts Cereal consistently stocked at every store I lurk at. That’s a low down dirty shame.

110 Cal for 3/4 cup, Fat Cal 15, Total Fat 1.5g, Sodium 160mg, Carbs 23g, Fiber 3g, Sugars 6g, Protein 2g

Well that’s it for now, so go on and start chewing on something. I’m really liking this new Put It In Your Food Trap feature. Definitely more to come!

Oh, and one more thing: Diets In Review just did an article reviewing the meal planning site, FoodOnTheTable.com. There’s a few quotes from me about the usefulness of Food On The Table, so check out the article to see if it’s something that might be helpful in your own meal planning.

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Athenos Baked Pita Chips (Original) Review

The front of the packaging of Athenos (Original) Baked Pita Chips has a bright blue sticker on it that reads, "50% less fat than the leading potato chips." Well, since crispy snacks like potato chips are my weakness, I only too happily threw this product in my grocery cart to try it out.

NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 28 grams (11 chips)
Calories: 120
Total Fat: 4 grams, 6%
Saturated Fat: 0%
Sodium: 270 mg, 11%
Carbohydrates: 19 grams
Fiber: 2 grams, 8%
Sugars: < 1 gram
Protein: 3 grams

Their website describes Athenos (Original) Baked Pita Chips as "the ultimate dipping chip ... made from freshly baked pita bread, baked and seasoned to perfection ... with 50% less fat than the leading brand of potato chips and no cholesterol." What I found was a tasty, golden brown, sturdy pita chip, so good for the eatin'. Not too salty, not not too oily and just as good as World Classics Trading Company Sea Salt Baked Pita Chips (Review). My problem was when it's hard to eat just one serving, which is about 11 chips (28 grams).

Each serving provides 120 calories, 4 grams of total fat (6% of the daily value), no saturated or trans fats, 270 mg sodium (11% of the DV), 2 grams of fiber (8% of the DV), less than 1 gram of sugars and 3 grams of protein.

The ingredients list of Athenos (Original) Baked Pita Chips reads wheat flour, sunflower oil, salt, sugar, yeast, with ascorbic acid, rosemary extract and citric acid to preserve freshness. To overcome my problem of eating more than 1 serving at a time, I started having with StarKist Solid White Albacore Tuna in Water (Review) - lots of protein and crunch to make a nutritious snack.

A 9 ounce bag (255 grams) cost me $2.50, and I would buy these instead of regular potato chips any day of the week.

{Website: Athenos}

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Pepperidge Farm Baked Naturals Cracker Chips (Simply Multi-Grain) Review

As I was checking out all the goodies in the supermarket aisle, I came across Pepperidge Farm Baked Naturals Simply Multi-Grain Cracker Chips. I remember reviewing Special K Cracker Chips recently, so I wondered if this would be similar. On the PF website, this is described as, "the next best thing in snacking. All the goodness of a whole grain cracker baked into a crunchy little chip ... one tasty combination! With 60% less fat than the leading potato chip and all the delicious flavor you crave, go ahead and crunch naturally."

NUTRITION FACTS
Serving Size: 30 grams (27 pieces)
Calories: 140
Total Fat: 4 grams, 6%
Saturated Fat: 0.5 grams, 3%
Sodium: 210 mg, 9%
Carbohydrates: 24 grams
Fiber: 2 grams, 8%
Sugars: 3 grams
Protein: 1 gram

What I found is that this is very different from Special K Cracker Chips in both taste and texture. The Pepperidge Farms Multi-Grain Cracker Chips are smaller, thinner, rectangular in shape but curvy on one side - whereas the Special K ones were like round discs. The PF Cracker Chips are pretty sturdy, salty, yet with a subtly sweet multi-grain taste. I really liked them and could definitely see myself eating this instead of potato chips.

Each serving of Pepperidge Farm Baked Naturals Simply Multi-Grain Cracker Chips provides 140 calories from 4 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of which is saturated (6% and 3% of the daily value), 210 mg of sodium (9% of the DV), 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugars and 1 gram of protein.

The ingredients list starts with corn flour, vegetable oils, wheat and brown sugar. On the front of the packaging, this states that this has 60% less fat than the leading potato chip. I don't know what the leading potato chip is, but this does indeed have 60% less fat than Lays Classic Potato Chips BUT also more ingredients (including things like monocalcium phosphate and sodium acid pyrophosphate), whereas for Lays it's simply potatoes, vegetable oils and salt. That's something to think about - is the purity of the ingredients more important than 6 grams more of total fat, especially since Lays only has 0.5 grams more saturated fat? Or maybe you don't eat chips or "cracker chips" at all.

I purchased a bag of Pepperidge Farm Baked Naturals Simply Multi-Grain Cracker Chips for $2.49 and I would buy it again. I didn't run through these like I would have potato chips.

{Website: Pepperidge Farm}

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Tasting! Pepperidge Farm Stone Baked Artisan Rolls

I loves me some carbohydrate fanfare. Don’t you? Too bad it makes my stomachs poke out and my fat cells bulge real big. Hence, the reason I choose my carbohydrate moments very carefully. The carb has GOT to be of fine-tasty quality and totally worth the chewing.

While I was shopping at the ghetto grocery store because it was near where I was headed (…to the ghetto??), I spotted some Pepperidge Farm Multi-Grain Artisan Rolls. They do, indeed, rank top notch on my carb-o-meter. Pepperidge claims the rolls are made from the “finest ingredients”, which I’m inclined to believe from the greedy tastiness.

These crusty on the outside; warm and soft on the inside (frozen) dinner rolls go from oven to Food Trap in about 8-minutes flat. But make sure there’s ample storage in your stomach chamber, because you WILL desire more than one.

The roll has and all-star blend of wheat germ, wheat bran, bulgur wheat (and more), plus flax seeds so big they wave hello. And there’s plenty of nooks and granny panties crannies for the melted buttery goodness to seep in. These could easily be sold in a lazy-azz bakery or restaurant, and people would be fooled into giving compliments to the baker.

STONEY NOTES

Price Paid: $4.49 for bag of 8 rollsCalories:  120Fat Calories: 10Total Fat: 1gSodium: 290mgCarbs: 25mgFiber: 3gSugars: 5gProtein: 6g

REACTIONS FROM THE TASTE TEST CREW

Health-hater Husband: Damn, this is really good.

Greedy Kid #2: They look like those multi-grain bagels you get.

Greedy Kid #3: Mom, you have to keep buying these.

Yum UP! to: Carbohydrate delirium.

Yuck Down to: Lazy-azz bakeries. They probably have rodents running ’round.

View the complete Taste Test Directory and Fast Food Cheat Sheets.

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