A Sexy Booty To Be Had For Anyone Willing To Grab It

This the comment I left on Workout Nirvana’s blog post about Strong, Sexy Glutes:

Yes, indeed. There is a plump booty available for the plump-less; a sexy booty to be had for anyone willing to grab it. Workout Nirvana’s post was right on time, as I had just finished working my ass muscles that very same morning.

For all of you cardio queens out there, do NOT neglect your strength training. No body transformation is complete without it.

My favorite go-to, ass-enhancing exercises are:

SquatsDeadliftsStairwell climbing (and step-ups on a bench)Lunges (love to hate ‘em, actually)Old school, 1980's floor work – the Buns of Steel kind

If you can’t quickly reel off your own favorites, that’s a pretty good indication that you’re not working your ass on the regular like you should be, so go read Workout Nirvana’s post and learn from her bootylicious knowledge.

Although booty shorts are my all time favorite piece of fitness apparel, it’s not that YOU have to love booty shorts, too. But wouldn’t you wanna look good in a pair if you had to?

Yeah. That’s what I thought. Now git on outta here and go achieve the sexy ass you deserve.

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Fitness Donuts, Anyone?

For all you greedy-minded people who thought you were gonna see some donut-covered food porn… Emmm, NO! Not today, anyway.

These are truly donuts of the fitness kind. There’s no fat or calories included and they’ll help you tone the fatty parts in a more comfortable, anti-injury kinda way. But not only donuts. There’s fitness wedges, too!

The Knee Donuts and Wrist Wedges were sent to me, courtesy of Do Or Die Fitness. After a short episode of skepticism, complete with eyeball rolling, I tried his stuff out and became totally convinced of the concept in a quick and speedy kind of way. Check out the example pic of how they’re used….

In a recent tortuous bought of Mountain Climbers (500 of ‘em total) and push-ups (70 of ‘em), my wrists were whining a little after the first three sets. So I pulled out wrist wedges and got immediate relief from the tension of subjecting my wrists to that 90-degree angle under all that pressure. The wedges take you out of that 90-degree angle ever so slightly. There’s a wee-bit of a cushy give to the material, while still being sturdy to support the wrists.

I used the knee donuts while doing some 1980's style leg toning moves (yes, I still do those) that keep you on your knees. It was a freaking delight! While the wrists wedges were the most necessary, the knee donuts are my favorite because of the comfort factor. I don’t know how they do it, but the knee donut technology had me feeling like my knees were nestled inside a pillow, while still feeling sturdy. The product’s material has a foam roller kind of feel, yet it’s more lightweight and cushy. Go on and check out the whole gamut of exercises you can do with with these donuts and wedges.

If you are dealing with a bit of extra weight right now – if you have any kind of injury that makes certain exercises a discomfort to perform, or if you just go hardcore and want to give yourself some extra anti-injury protection, the Knee Donuts ($19.99), Wrist Wedges ($19.99), and even the Neck Circle ($9.99)  from Do Or Die Fitness deserve your attention. Snag whichever of the 3 you need, or scoop up the bundle of all three for $44.99.

Are there any drawbacks?

Well yes. A few drawbacks, although very minor. I haven’t used these products long term yet, but just like a foam roller, the Do Or Die products get that wrinkly, squashed-ness appearance with use, yet I have to say that this didn’t cause there to be any lesser-quality of knee/wrist support and performance. Another minor gripe is that with the wrist wedges, you have to position your hands in a very precise way (which can take a couple of tries) to get the benefits without your hand slipping a little, but you’ll be fine once you determine the hand positioning that’s right for you. I haven’t said a lot about the Neck Circle, because for me, a towel can do the same thing, but I know there are some of you with with neck  and spine alignment issues, so the Neck Circle might be just the thing you need.

Overall, if I had to choose just one pair, I’d pick the wrist wedges out of necessity, or the knee donuts for comfort and delight. The knee donuts and wrist wedges are now an important part of my training tools. BOOM!

At this time I am also accepting your profusely exaggerated compliments on my African tribal forehead crown, as modeled in the pic. Just sayin’.

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Exercise Explorer Professional - Powerful Exercise and Workout Management Software for Personal Trainers, Fitness Professionals or Anyone Administering Exercise Programs - 1 Trainer & 25 Clients Version

EXERCISE EXPLORER PROFESSIONAL is a powerful exercise management tool. Designed to be easy-to-use, it creates exercise routines quickly, prints workout & exercise cards, tracks exercise performance & performs fitness evaluations. Complete personalized reporting capabilities, an anatomical muscle reference, videos & pictures of every exercise are just a few of the features that will help you provide a professional image to your clients. There is a Trainer Edition & Club Edition. Each Edition has several versions to match your client base or club configuration. Upgrades to any professional version with more clients or more trainers are available for simply the price difference between the versions. The software will support you as you grow. WORKOUTS: Generating workouts is made simple by using a wizard to go step by step through the process. Workouts are adjusted automatically to a client's fitness level & ability, with flexible scheduling & equipment choices. Additional exercises may be added to the 379 exercises in the system & all printed reports & cards may be personalized with custom text & logos. Workouts may target any combination of body regions or activities. This targeting is made possible by a relational database that has detailed analyses of all the exercises & over 100 activities ranging from archery to water skiing. TRACKING & REPORTS: Producing a personalized, comprehensive report is as easy as selecting the start & end dates. Reports use charts & tables to show performance improvement, workout statistics, calories used, & measurement changes. Notes & comments may be added to provide even more information. CLIENT MANAGEMENT: Client personal information, fitness level, exercise goals, measurements to track & a comment log are saved. REFERENCES & RESOURCES: Exercise Explorer provides many additional features, such as adding custom logos to reports & cards, printing detailed anatomical muscle drawings, & adding exercises & equipment into the system.

Price: $179.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

Why didn’t anyone tell me about Last.fm radio?

So, I was messing about on the Internet this week trying to do a bazillion things at once, and I somehow stumbled upon the Radio link at the top of the Last.fm home page.

Ok, let me backup. Last.fm is an audio scrobbler, which is a funny phrase that means it tracks all the music you play on your computer. (Well, all the music you play in programs supported by the plugin, like iTunes, WinAmp, etc. I think it can also download your iPod stats.) I’ve used Last.fm to track my songs for years now, and you can see my stats here. (Please ignore the Bieber. I was just experimenting. I didn’t inhale.)

Ok, back to where I was. If you click on the “Your Library Radio” link in the sidebar of the Radio page a widget loads that starts playing songs that you’ve scrobbled. It’s like having your MP3 collection with you anywhere, which is handy for me because I keep all my music on an external hard drive that I don’t like to lug to coffeeshops. It doesn’t play your whole library because they are limited to songs they have the rights to play, and I assume the artists all get royalties, but it’s still pretty damn cool. I was listening to it at a coffee shop this week and forgot I was listening to a stream and not my hard drive until an ad came on.

This is so awesome that I cannot believe someone hadn’t told me about it before. If you’re not a Last.fm user, it’s probably significantly less awesome since you don’t have any tracks scrobbled to your library. There is also room for hilarity because the widget shows pictures of the artists while it plays their songs. When I listened to a Kylie Minogue track I felt like I was watching soft porn.

If you do use Last.fm, I hope I’ve enlightened you a bit today!

Speaking of radio, I will be on it (the old school version) a couple times in the upcoming weeks, assuming that my cell phone signal doesn’t drop out mid-sentence. Here is a post with the details. I had a great interview on KERA in Dallas yesterday, but OMG it is quite a mental marathon to talk about yourself for a whole hour, particularly when a side effect of the headache medication you’re on is dry mouth. I drank a whole glass of water and wanted another one. Sometimes I wish I could send in a stunt double to do this stuff for me, hopefully with cuter hair.

"Smart, unflinchingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny."– Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author of Still Alice

PastaQueen.com is a fascist regime ruled with a benevolent fist by PastaQueen and the macaroni military. Lively discussion is encouraged, but any comment may be deleted or edited according to the whims of your monarch. Please read the official rules of commenting etiquette for more details. Spammers are publicly beheaded and their blood is mixed into our spaghetti sauce. Comments are occasionally disabled some time after an entry has been posted to keep the blog on a spam-free diet.

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Is anyone a tax adviser/tax attorney who would give me free advice?

Ok, I’m at the end of my rope on this, so I’m going to beg. This is me begging. Is anyone out there a tax adviser or tax attorney who can give me free advice? Last year I rolled over a 401K into a traditional IRA. This year my old employer sent me a letter saying that they can’t do math correctly and they rolled over an extra couple thousand dollars because of a vesting error, which they’d like back now. I have talked to several people, from my IRA custodian, Marketplace Money, a free legal-aid pension lawyer, and even the IRS. Yes, I voluntarily called the IRS. That is how crazy this shit has made me. I have Googled and researched and asked for help and wasted at least 8-10 hours of my life trying to figure this mess out, but I still have no fucking clue how to remove this money from the account with little or no penalties or excess fees. Can anyone help me on this? Please, Dear God. The end of the tax year is coming up and I need to do what ever I’m going to do NOW.

I do understand that time and expertise are worth money, since that is how I make a living as a freelancer. So, part of me knows it is hypocritical to ask for free advice about this. However, since it was in no way my fault that this incident happened, I don’t think I should have to pay for my old employer’s mistake. Please take mercy me. Please, please, please. Thank you.

Update: Thank you, everyone! Your comments have helped a lot and I think I know how to resolve this issue now. Thank you for being the best blog readers ever!

PastaQueen.com is a fascist regime ruled with a benevolent fist by PastaQueen and the macaroni military. Lively discussion is encouraged, but any comment may be deleted or edited according to the whims of your monarch. Please read the official rules of commenting etiquette for more details. Spammers are publicly beheaded and their blood is mixed into our spaghetti sauce. Comments are occasionally disabled some time after an entry has been posted to keep the blog on a spam-free diet.

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