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Sunday, May 6, 2012

Cheesecake’s Most Wanted

8:15 pm. Somebody bangin’ on my door with a heavy, closed fist like they’re the dang police and I am Most Wanted. It scared the hell outta me. I’m an outrage in at least 49 states, after all.

So I go to door. It’s a neighborhood kid begging cheesecake orders for her softball fundraiser.

“Emmm. Sure, kid. Put me down for a whole New York style cheesecake. And be quick about it. I’ve got more couch-assing to do.”

((writes check for $22 and hands to snot-nosed kid))

So yeah. When it gets here I’m gonna eat a slice (or two) and force the rest on others. Maybe freeze it and wait for a good time to share it as party food or something. It’s a very magical plan.

I’m not going to restrict other calories or over-do my workouts for the sake of a cheesecake slice eaten. Just gonna gnaw on the damn thing and keep it moving. It’s not a big freaking deal if a slice of cheesecake steps into my life amid salads and lean proteins and sweaty, hardcore workouts.

I don’t give greedy isolated incidents the power to think it can trainwreck my healthy lifestyle. I cannot be threatened. I’m the one in control. Decadent food and fitness can indeed co-exist when you look at it from the right perspective. Total restriction makes for a very boring life, and that is NOT the way I chose to live.

I am cheesecake’s most wanted (yippeeee!!!). You got a problem with that?


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