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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Ive judged you.

(At the spring kindergarten round-up, post-bus ride & clutching her free chocolate milk)

Oh people.

As the title states: Ive judged you.

And, by way of full disclosure, there’s a pretty good chance Ive mocked you too.

A little to your face (Im upfront like that) & more than a little at home to Ren Man while I furrowed my brow and stated, yet, again, SERIOUSLY? Have they no life??

Let me back up.

We were late to the parenting-game.

It was never in the proverbial plans to have a child starting kindergarten when I was the ripe ole age of 42—but here we are.

Sure there are other women my age with kids starting school, but typically it’s the ‘last of’ situation and not their first and only.

As a result Ive witnessed more first-day-of-kindergarten! with friends than I can count.

It stated when I was 26 or so and continued right up through last year.

I watched my friends (and mere acquaintances) grow sad as the start of school approached and witnessed more than a few cry after their little ones climbed on the school bus for the first time.

And I judged.

I assumed any woman who had a job and/or a life would be happy to procure herself a little alone time.

A chance to pee without tiny eyes prying & providing a running commentary.

An opportunity to eat non-prison style (AKA hunched over my food so the Tornado doesnt steal it), sit for a few moments and just BREATHE.

I mocked the tears (inside where it counts) in the same way I now realize weve all mocked something we didn’t or couldnt yet understand.

I have work (these days thankfully more work than there are hours she will be at the Garten of the Kinder).

Whether I have a life is debatable, but I see this gift of time as an opportunity to perhaps get me one why yes. you MAY read that as the plea for IRL friendship it is.

Still, on this day the Tornado toddles strides off to launch her independence, Im sad.

Im not sure I wanna pee alone.

I fear Ill get me a dog just so I have something at home to stare at me with those you gonna eat that?! eyes as I lunch solo.

In this early morning hour as I get her stuff and my brain ready for the first day of school Im here to admit I judged you and to admit chances are pretty damn good in a few hours I shall join you.

By way of apology I wanna wrap these bleary musings up by proffering an opportunity for you to mock me relentlessly snicker at my expense.

I give you the little somethin’somethin’ I plan to tuck in the Tornado’s lunch today & which I dragged Ren Man out semi-last minute to do.

Please to enjoy.

Dizclaimer: This will not become the kinderchronicles permanently, but it may for the next few weeks.  In addition Id like to claim it was blogging through a veil of tears which resulted in the tootiny photo above—but it is not.  I merely suck at photographs.  Youll have that.


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