10 Things You Tell Friends That You Should Be Telling Yourself

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

From hating our bodies to thinking we are aren’t enough, it’s time we stop being our own worst enemy and start to treat ourselves the way we treat our friends.

Here are 10 things I’m sure you’ve told a close friend at one time or another. Maybe we should show ourselves the same kind of kindness.

10. “You look great!”

I’m so guilty of this, it isn’t funny. I rarely dress up and when I do, I pick apart my outfit, my hair, my shoes, etc. I focus on everything I think is a flaw instead of confidently looking in the mirror and saying, “You look great!”

9. “Maybe you should take a break.”

It’s so easy for us to look at our friends’ lives and tell them to slow down. Yet I bet there’s always something more you HAVE to do.

8. “No worries. It’s cool.” 

Why does it seem exponentially easier to forgive our friends than ourselves?

7. “Oh stop, you aren’t fat.” 

I’m going to bet, regardless of how much your friend weighs, you never, ever agree with her when she calls herself fat. Why? Because fat talk is negative, destructive behavior and does no one any good. Next time you start to utter, or even think those three little words (“I’m so fat”), show yourself the same respect you show your friends. STOP IT.

6. “You’ve GOT this.” 

We confidently pat our friends on the back all the time because we know what they are capable of. We have faith in their abilities, yet we constantly doubt ourselves. Why?

5. “Everything will be OK.” 

Is that not the first thing you say to your friend in crisis? Next time, try to repeat it to yourself when things get rough.

4. “Maybe it’s time to try something new.”

Sometimes it’s easy to give friends advice because we are outside looking in with a completely different perspective.  And sometimes that’s exactly what we need to do for ourselves.

3. “You are amazing!” 

This needs no explanation. Say it to yourself sometimes, OK?

2. “You should do what makes you happy.”  

It’s advice always given to others, yet rarely done ourselves.

1. “Love you.” 

I don’t care how cheesy it sounds. Show yourself some love!

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Should Strong be the New Skinny?

I shared the article this quote is from last week on my Facebook page but I relate to it so much I had to make it a post.

It’s called “This Trendy ‘Strong is the New Skinny’ Thing and what is could mean for the next generation of girls,” and this paragraph could not describe me and mentality at the moment, any better:

“Now when I look in the mirror (this is embarrassing by the way, I can’t believe I’m admitting this online) I flex instead of sucking in. Now when I pinch my stomach, it’s to feel my abs, not to feel shitty about how much “flab” (real or imaginary) is sitting there. I no longer stare at the “calories burned” display on the elliptical, but how many plates I have on each end of the barbell.” — Sophieologie.com

I mostly agree with the article but like some of the commenters, I fear “strong” could become the new “skinny” in a bad way.

It’s true. I’ve become a bit of a workout junkie. I took this photo last month as a joke but never got a chance to share it.

I’m really starting to see the changes in my body. I feel the difference in my strength. I have more energy. I’m happier. I even feel calmer in a weird way, more in control of my emotions.

So my gut reaction to this article was positive. Of course “strong” is a better goal than “skinny.” I’ve even wrote a post about why I feel “skinny” is about the worst goal you can set. 

However, it does feel a bit like we are swapping out one cultural obsession (thinness) with another (super fit), and although I fall in the category of a workout junkie (now) I’ve made that choice after a lifetime of hating myself and my body. For me it IS a more positive shift in my goals, but I can only imagine how young girls may feel today.

What if you happen to be thin and have no interest in lifting weights — do you now feel just as inadequate as I did not sporting the “heroin chic,” waifish frame body of the ’90s? What about other folks who do workout, enjoy it, yet still don’t have the “expected” body shape of a “strong” woman?

Why does it feel like we are we constantly doing things in pursuit of someone else’s ideals weather it be skinny, strong or curvy?

It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am emotionally and it’s true I got here by pursuing weight loss. I’m not going to lie and say the changes in my body aren’t awesome, but I stripped myself of the pressure of looking a specific way long ago. If I didn’t I’d still be pursuing Twiggy’s arms and Elle MacPherson legs, both of which are a complete impossibility for my body type regardless of how much weight I lose or iron I pump.

Now I do what I do because I WANT to do it. I pursue fitness goals because it makes me feel amazing. Alive. Accomplished.

Confidence should be the new skinny.

I hope that’s the message I’m spreading.

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The Real Reason Children Should Be Banned From Greediness

“Conversations With a Greedy Azz Kid”

((the phone rings))

Me: Hello?

Greedy Kid #1: Mom, you are sooo jealous of me right now.

Me: ((in sarcastic voice)) Why should I be? Because you’re working late and won’t be home till 10 tonight?

Greedy Kid #1: Nope. Because I’m eating a cheesecake right now.

Me: ((insert jealous feelings here)) We’ll you’re the one gaining calories, not me.

Greedy Kid #1: But I’m also gaining the tastiness of the cheesecake. It’s all rich and fluffy and delicious.

Me: ((hangs up phone until she gets the dial tone))

Children should not be able to flaunt their cheesecake unless the parent is within arms reach to take away their cheesecake and have it for themselves.

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True Balance Toning Shoes By New Balance: Should You Really Be Wearing These?

Why the hell is Frankie wearing women’s sports shoes? Emmm, because I forced it on his foot. He didn’t take too well to modeling feminine footwear, but at least he’s got himself a (living-breathing?) girlfriend.

I’ve never worn a pair of those unattractive, platform-ish, Frankenstein-looking toning shoes. I don’t care what they promised to tone. If they’re ugly with no style, I ain’t wearing. Then there’s that lady I saw with the Frankenstien toning shoes, shoving excess sammiches down her food trap at high speed. What’s the point of the shoes then?

So anyway, New Balance threw me a pair of their True Balance toning shoes to take for a spin. At first glance and even upon closer inspection, there’s really no way to tell these are toning shoes. True Balance is sleek and sexy looking with no platform. They’ve got style, people.

I’ve heard the toning shoe concept in general get a bad rap for causing soreness and stuff – even pain in some cases, so that made me a little skeptical. My feet, legs and ass are precious to me and I don’t want them screwed with. I also got feedback from some Yum Yucky peeps who have the actual True Balance shoes. Some loved them. Some couldn’t keep them on for too long because certain prior injuries made the shoes not good for their wearing.

Okay then. Now it’s my turn to try them on and formulate my thoughts to maybe recommend them (or not).

This is my foot in True Balance.

I gave myself a full month to test these out. My first wearing was on July 5th. I wore them several times per week, sometimes for up to 10 hours. I worked in them and shopped in them. The very first thing I noticed was the comfort. Ahhhh. The fabric is thick with a little bit of stretch. It hugs your foot, yet is not tight. They also fit true to size. I tend to have a semi-wide front part of the foot, but they still felt really good.

When you start walking, there’s a little extra squish and give in the heel compared to regular sneakers. This creates an environment of “controlled in-stability” (yes, I made up that scientific term). Over the first few days, the shoes made me very aware with almost every walking moment that this controlled in-stability was going on, but after those initial days it was a gravy train. My brain caught up to my feet and I got used to the shoe without thinking about it. It was fancy walking as usual.

This controlled in-stability caused me to feel my calf muscles working, I’d say, maybe 15-20% more.  So for me, yes, I felt some toning going on. Yet I didn’t feel any difference in my upper legs or booty muscles. I did notice, however that after about 9 hours of wearing, my feet would get a little more tired than usual. Not sore or in pain – just fatigued. But this could be a plus considering what True Balance is meant to do? I don’t really know, but I just stopped wearing them for longer than 9 hours and that fixed the tired problem.

I’ve come to this conclusion about True Balance toning shoes: If you have any type of foot, leg or hip problems, these probably aren’t for you. If you’re just starting out with fitness and have absolutely no prior lower body strength, toning or conditioning experience, you may need to get your body developed in those areas before walking in these long term. But! If you have generally healthy lower body parts and desire EXTREME comfort while giving your body a little extra challenge throughout the day, go snag yourself a pair or at least try them on in the store at the very minimum. They’re FREAKING COMFORTABLE!! The shoes retail for $89.99. I think they’re worth the price.

True Balance toning shoes are meant for walking. NOT running, skipping, slip-sliding, hiking, disco-dancing, tree climbing, mixed martial arts, break-dancing or any other extremer activities. But you could wear them while couch-azzing or just trying to look cute. Okay?

Read about True Balance toning technology here. And if you desire to eat sammiches while wearing the toning shoes, please limit yourself to one sammich. Sheesh.

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Should women lift weights? (guest post)

(Why no. I didn’t train with the Angry Trainer, but I would have if he’d lived nearby!)

For the last twenty years I have listened to women complain that lifting weights will give them big muscles, that it will make them look like a man, and have sat by and watched as they have neglected a very important aspect of any fitness program – strength.

I’ve seen numerous fitness “gurus” promote the use of very light weights or body weight training as the only form of exercise women should be doing to get a sexy, feminine body. Guess what? The Angry Trainer couldn’t disagree more!

The fact is that most women just don’t have enough of the hormone testosterone to support “manly muscles”, and in my opinion staying away from weight training is a grave mistake. Scientific evidence demonstrates that to fight off bone density loss (osteoporosis), and to keep the body strong, it must be externally loaded with resistance, which means using weights.

This is a perfect example of initiating the “use it or lose it” principle. In order to preserve muscle mass and maintain strength, some challenging strength training should be used. It has also been shown that body weight exercises like Yoga, and Pilates, do not have the same bone strengthening advantages that weight training does, as your body is already designed to carry itself.

Think about it, do you think that an exercise program that doesn’t include lifting weights can have the same positive effect on your muscle and skeletal strength? Logic would dictate that answer is of course not.

In my career I have trained all of my clients, both men and women, with weights in some shape or fashion, both in functional training and some traditional forms, and not one woman has ever looked manly, or complained of being too muscular. Instead, they voiced their feelings of being strong, having better stamina, and for those that played a recreational sport, a marked improvement in their game.

Interestingly I’m always asked if I have “men or women exercises” to which I say, “No, I have people exercises”.

The more common scenario is this; when women start to weight train they can gain a small amount of muscle that helps to  rev up their metabolism, which can then help them to lose some body fat. With less body fat covering the muscle, it is now more visible, thus creating the appearance of the muscles being bigger.

In the bodybuilding world this was referred to as the perception; the image you created on stage. As an example when I won the heavyweight class I weighed in a 203lbs, a full 15lbs lighter than I am right now. But do to my very low body fat, I look much more muscular than right now- it’s all an optical illusion.

Everybody has abs, shoulders, legs, pecs, etc – it is the amount of body fat covering them that can make the difference between looking toned and muscular, or soft and flabby. Of course I said most women, there are some women who build muscle more easily than others, but that is the exception not the rule.

I’m not suggesting that women, or men for that matter should completely stay away from body weight exercises, or classes such as Yoga. All exercise forms have specialized benefits, and a place within your fitness program. The key is to know what each one is good for so you can plug it into your routine in an appropriate manner.

However, while I think some exercises can be a “take it or leave it” choice, I am suggesting that everyone needs to include strength training in their regime to realize their full fitness potential. It helps to maintain muscle mass, boost hormone  levels, and keep your skeleton strong, which is of utmost importance as you get older and hormone levels decline.

To be clear – I said “strength training”, I’m not asking anyone to become a power lifter or bodybuilder, or for women to run out and chest press 315lbs or max squat 405lbs.

I am asking you to include some form of intelligent resistance training in your workout. Interestingly, including weight training in your workout has tremendous “crossover” meaning it will make your other exercise classes even more productive! Of all the exercise “fads” that have come and gone, one thing remains constant – strength training and dumbbells are here to stay.

Pick one up today!

About the Author:

Alfonso Moretti aka The Angry Trainer is a 20 year Personal Trainer and operates Angry Trainer Fitness – a website dedicated to the “truth in fitness” which was created to expose myths within the fitness industry and help people get healthy and fit the right way. He sits on the Sears Fitness Advisory Board, creates exercise programs and monthly content for FitStudio LINK (www.fitstudio.com), and is a contributing Editor to Men’s Fitness And Discovery Health & Fit.

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When Should You Eat Dinner?

Eating and sleeping are two of our most basic functions, and they bear an important relationship to one another. Clients and Biggest Loser contestants have often asked me, "What is the best time to eat dinner?" It's not so much a question of the best time to eat the meal, as it is of when's best for you.

The time that you eat dinner is not as important as how close it is to your bedtime. If you’re eating dinner too close to your bedtime, you may experience reflux (heartburn), not sleep as well as you otherwise might, or skip breakfast the next morning (this is quite a common pitfall).

It works the other way, too. The proper amount of sleep is important to your meals. Sleep deprivation may actually cause you to eat more to help you "wake-up." This can cause unwanted weight gain, and may lead to less exercise because you may feel too tired for a workout. Not good.

Eating dinner 2-3 hours before bedtime may help with several common issues:

Reflux (heartburn): When you eat an adequate amount of time before hitting the sack you will likely experience less reflux since 2-3 hours gives your stomach some time to empty before reclining. When your stomach is too full and you lie down, things start to “repeat” on you and you may experience heartburn.

Digestion: Giving yourself 2-3 hours (without snacking) after dinner, and before bed allows for digestion time. This may lead to you waking the next morning feeling a bit hungry -- which is a good thing! You will then be less likely to skip breakfast, which is an important meal. Eating a breakfast that contains both carbohydrates and protein may help control overall hunger during the day.

Making the most of your 40 winks: Spacing your dinner time and sleep time by 2-3 hours can actually help you sleep better. However, if you eat dinner at 5 or 6 p.m. and don’t go to bed until 11 p.m. or later, it is important to plan a balanced snack that contains about 150 calories and includes some carbohydrates and lean protein. Your snack, then, should be eaten 2-3 hours before bedtime.

These are some basic guidelines about the optimal time for your nighttime meals, but if you are having trouble sleeping most nights, or are experiencing heartburn often, please consult with your primary healthcare provider or doctor.

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You should double-check that you’re still on my mailing list

The short version
If you think you’re subscribed to my mailing list, you should double-check that you are. Just go to this page, submit you email address, and if you’re already subscribed it will tell you.

The long version
I started my mailing list over three years ago when Half-Assed was coming out. After I was through promoting that book, I neglected the mailing list for the next two years. If it were a plant, it would have turned brown and crinkly. Now that Chocolate & Vicodin is coming out, I took the old list and imported it to Mail Chimp, a well-regarded e-newsletter service that has cool tracking features and reports.

I sent out my first email a month ago, but was sure to add a little note at the top telling people why they were getting the message and how to unsubscribe if they were no longer interested. Evidently, six people didn’t remember subscribing to the list and didn’t read the first line because they reported the message as spam, which caused MailChimp to temporarily suspend my account. I had to remove all the addresses I’d imported, leaving only the ones that had signed up after I started using MailChimp. I then had to personally send a message to all the old addresses asking those people to resubscribe. However, due to technical issues I’m not 100% sure all those people got the message, and there’s no way I’m going to send another message spamming people by telling them I don’t want to spam them.

So! If you want to be subscribed to my list, you should probably go double-check here. If you’re already subscribed, the form will tell you. Otherwise you’ll just have to click a confirmation link in an email.

Thanks! I promise that someday something I run will go totally smoothly with no bumps or bruises. Someday. Yes, someday.

"Smart, unflinchingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny."– Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author of Still Alice

PastaQueen.com is a fascist regime ruled with a benevolent fist by PastaQueen and the macaroni military. Lively discussion is encouraged, but any comment may be deleted or edited according to the whims of your monarch. Please read the official rules of commenting etiquette for more details. Spammers are publicly beheaded and their blood is mixed into our spaghetti sauce. Comments are occasionally disabled some time after an entry has been posted to keep the blog on a spam-free diet.

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What T-mobile should do about “4G”

What T-mobile should do about “4G” | AndroidGuys@import url("http://www.androidguys.com/wp-content/themes/elemental/lib/styles/print.css");.recentcomments a{display:inline !important;padding:0 !important;margin:0 !important;}.vvqbox { display: block; max-width: 100%; visibility: visible !important; margin: 10px auto; } .vvqbox img { max-width: 100%; height: 100%; } .vvqbox object { max-width: 100%; } #header {background-image: url(http://www.androidguys.com/wp-content/themes/elemental/tools/timthumb.php?w=960&h=100&src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.androidguys.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F10%2Fag_header_vote_10_11.png);}

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What T-mobile should do about “4G”Posted by: Russell HollyOctober 27, 2010

Ever since HSPA+ was announced, there have been whispers of T-Mobile calling the upgrade  an enhancement to 4G service. After the network was deployed, and handsets started being released, the whispers grew into unreleased marketing material. Now that there is a phone in which multiple meanings of the name would apply, the term is being used on a phone. The MyTouch 4G is the fourth generation of MyTouch, but it is also the second phone with their new HSPA+ radio. Is this the right message? Should T-Mobile be ok with calling their network 4G?

Let's bear in mind that there is no 4G. As far as the ITU-R, which is the international council that determines the network specifications for classifications, is concerned there are no US 4G networks, and none of the networks ready to be deployed meet the requirements. Sprint's 4G network - a sham. The current deployment of Wi-Max in the US is not ready to be used as or called 4G. At least Wi-Max is supposed to be 4G, unlike LTE whose full designator is 3GPLTE, the Long Term Evolution of 3G. HSPA+ is not as fast as what these networks COULD one day be, They are, however, faster than what these networks ARE NOW. Because of that unique advantage, and the fact that T-Mobile was able to deploy HSPA+ to a much larger footprint as it is not a different technology, I see it as T-Mobile has two choices. They can jump on board and say "we have the biggest 4G network" or they can take it to these other carriers and say "our 3G network is faster than their 4G network... so what are you paying for again?".

Remember, Sprint charges anyone with a 4G phone an extra $10/month even if they can't use it in their area, and every carrier seems to be "optimizing" their data plans, so this could be the perfect time for T-Mobile to attract holiday customers with a more aggressive marketing plan. Plus, Verizon won't really have LTE out in any meaningful fashion for awhile, so the next couple of months are critical to getting the customers in new contracts while they can. What do you think, should T-Mobile play as dirty as everyone else, or change their tact to include a more aggressive but truthful approach?

You May Also Enjoy...T-Mobile’s HSPA+ Network Expands to Nearly 50 MarketsPlaying Catch Up?T-Mobile MyTouch 4G arriving Nov. 3 for $20014 Responses to “What T-mobile should do about “4G””Leave a reply ›ShawnOctober 27, 2010

I think they should call it 4G, cause everyone else is or will be, even if its not true for any of them. But the common person does not know the difference, and they think 4g>3g cause of the name. Just look at the naming of the iPhone 4G, tons of people think its a 4G phone, not 4th generation.

So go for it, call it 4G since the majority have no clue what this all is.

Reply ›CALLUSOctober 27, 2010

There is no iphone 4g, only iphone 4

Reply ›Russell HollyOctober 27, 2010

Exactly - and I think that a MyTouch4 would be a really great name

Reply ›android_purityOctober 27, 2010

Hmmm so 4g doesn't exist....technically. didn't know that

Reply ›Galen20KOctober 27, 2010

I say call it 4G since the average consumer unlike us have no idea that HSPA+ is faster currently than other networks 4G and T-Mobile SHOULDN'T"T be penalized for that. Wouldn't be fair.

Reply ›Russell HollyOctober 27, 2010

Half the battle with consumers is marketing - which was my point. Take a look at the "Map" commercials between ATT and Verizon. They got HUGE attention. The same "slam" style marketing against "4G" would do way better in my opinion then just a "we have 4G too guys" campaign

Reply ›JoonatanOOctober 27, 2010

They should call it 5G, then Sprint will come out with 6G, and so forth.

This will continue until some law gets passed which states that they have to have the correct names.

Problem solved

Reply ›rmstrongOctober 27, 2010

Call it what it is. Educate the masses don't play politics.

Reply ›thejoshOctober 27, 2010

Ever hear the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right?" If T-mobile really wants to set themselves apart they should be honest and up front about their service not be deceitful with the consumer. Just because the average consumer doesn't know the difference shouldn't mean that t-mobile should take advantage of them. T mobile has an opportunity to learn from the other carrier's mistake and earn the trust of the consumer. T mobile can earn a lot of of new customers by just explaining to consumers the difference during the sales process. Lying and using the 4G term may earn customers in the short term but it will hurt them in the long run. Consumers are becoming smarter about the products they buy now then in the past. T-mobile should avoid the term 4G.

Reply ›MooseOctober 27, 2010

Going by the connection speed icons on the top of the display of the phone:

G - God awful slow
E - Edge
3G
H - (didn't see this until I looked at the G2 display)

Why not just call it T-Mobile H?

Kinda like Wifi Networks have progressed from B, C, G, N - people will intuitively think that it "must be better".

Reply ›boss5October 27, 2010

Excellent point.

Reply ›bryanOctober 27, 2010

I think Tmobile should keep doing what they have been, advertise 4g speeds and focus on the speeds and not worry about the network protocol.

HSPA+ is technically 3g but so are Winax and LTE. The ITU just ruled that Wimax 2 and LTE- Advanced will be the first 4g network protocols. T-Mobile avoids the issues with calling HSPA+ 4g by advertising 4g speeds (since HSPA+ is faster than Wimax and likely faster than LTE at launch) without having to push the issue of what actually qualifies as 4g. Most consumers will not know the difference and at least it is more truthful that the competition but does not give up the marketing.

Reply ›RoToOctober 27, 2010

Tmob should call it what it is, 3G+, and nail the bastards by educating the public.

"So how come your 3G+ phone is faster than my 4G phone? Well actually your network and phone are only 'baby 4G', someday your network will grow to be faster than my 3G+. But you will need a new phone then!"

Reply ›WilliamOctober 28, 2010

To be true 4G according to the ITU, a service must be able to sustain 100 Mbps download. NONE OF THE CARRIERS current LTE or WIMAX networks can sustain that. So any carrier saying that their network will be 4G sometime in 2011 IS A LIAR. Why should T-Mobile be the only HONEST carrier. I applaud them for being bold enough to tell the other guys to go to hell. If and when legislation passes, EVERYONE will have to stop calling their new networks 4G.

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