Three reasons why I advocate the family meal.

long before the family meal

I was born in the ’60s.

An era of family dinners, women mainly working inside the home, and jobs *really* being 9-5.

Life is strikingly different now.

we are strikingly different now

Many women work outside the home. Kids are crazy over-scheduled with after school & weekend activities. It’s rarely a reality to get home from an office by 6 pm (a post for a different day. that whole concept makes me sad).

If my mom-friends are any indication dinnertime has morphed into a period more of chaos than connection.

They lament the fact kids “have” to eat the evening meal in the car en route to practices.

Stories abound of one parent *consistently* eating dinner with the kids while the other is still working/stuck in a long commute home.

Screens are turned on so parents can multitask and/or catch up on work.

This approach to meal time isnt healthy for our families or our connection to partners/spouses.

ahh love. you take work.

Studies show toddlers acquire eating habits by watching us.  This study was conducted by ME in *my* home—but you get the idea.  We all know kids mimic what they see. A screen-free, mindfully eaten, conversation-filled meal together is one of the best teaching tools around. she learned this by watching me.

Studies show older children share at mealtime. Disclosure: Another study from my domicile, yet I believe it true.  Family meals offer teaching moments (Tornado knows being part of our family means helping prepare/clean up) AND provide opportunity for conversation games which give insights into a child’s day. High/low is a fave here & precisely what prompted this post. that was for ricing–but ok…

Studies show teens who experience family dinners are less likely to use alcohol/drugs. The data here isn’t clear why, but seems to indicate bonds created through family gathering encourage teens to be more open.  I’d guess it boils down to TIME.  The more TIME we spend with our kids–the more we’d *notice* if something seemed “off.”

Wait.

Did I say we never eat family dinners?

When I became a mom I quickly realized family dinners would never work for our early rising, late-at-office trio.

the late-worker in our group

As a result, I implemented the family breakfast.

While other families are sleeping or muddling through their mornings we make the time to gather.

We sit sans-screens, chat about the happenings of yesterday and share what we’re looking forward to that day.

For us this family meal time works perfectly.

We get the nighttime family meal benefits plus there’s no chance a surprise meeting/deadline will intrude on our time.

My favorite piece—and now I want to ask the husband and Tornado theirs—is how perfectly it launches my day.

I feel as though I matter.  I feel optimistic and content.  I feel *connected* to those most important to me.  All before my day truly begins.

And you?

What do you think?

Are you a believer in the family meal?

Tags: family meals, mindful eating, screens at dinner

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I'm Still Here! Three Weeks in Photos

Man…the weather turns nice and I totally disappear from the blog-o-sphere! I lurk early in the morning, reading blogs and always promising myself I'll write one. I have a lot to tell you because a lot’s been going on. The wretched winter and the non-existent spring kidnapped my writing discipline. Give me some warm weather and I’m a college student on spring break. I lose all focus. I mean, it’s sunny, I have a bike, I have legs, I have grandkids full of energy…
However...the intoxication of warmth is becoming the norm, so I promise to be around a bit more. Thanks, as always, for sticking with me.

Thought I'd share a photo diary of what I’ve been up to.

There was Luca’s 2nd birthday
Hanging out with Cooper
Biking with Claire
Playing with Mae-Moo
Helping potty train the Luca Duke
Sliding and swinging with Luca and Claire.
I still love to slide down a big old metal slide. I'm also teaching Claire to swing. You know how many muscles it takes to swing? Pull back with your arms, stretch your legs out going up and back going down, repeat for 10 minutes. Takes some calf and ab strength, I tell you what. We found an old school slide the other day. The metal kind with steep stairs and hardly any guide rail. The three of us climbed up the stairs and slid down without falling on our butts at least 20 times. I had to bribe them with bubbles (“Let’s go blow bubbles at Grammy’s!!”) to get them to stop.

I’ve been hiking and biking alone, too.

Not a sign you want to see going up the grade on a steep hill
I hope this finds you enjoying your spring, too. I wish you the joy of a slide and a good swing. I’ll be in touch soon. Promise :)

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Like Buttons In A Biscuit Tin: A Blog In Three Parts

Part 1
When I was 3 years old 45 years ago, my mother bought a tin of biscuits for Christmas. It was turquoise blue with gold trim and white inlay, topped with a noble-looking knob. It looked European, but the tin was made in the U.S. and the biscuits were made in Hopkins, Minnesota. Didn’t matter. It was still fancy.
Mom used the biscuit tin to store buttons she snipped off discarded items of clothing (worn out shirts and coats mostly), and my brother, sister and I used to sort through them on rainy or snowy days. We’d examine each of them like they were works of art, which some of them were, and we’d play tiddlywinks with the flat ones. Need a green plastic shamrock button? It’s in there somewhere.

I don’t remember how (there was probably begging involved), but I inherited the tin years ago and it’s now under an end table in my living room, filled with additional buttons I kept that were sewn or attached in little plastic bags to the inside hem of the shirts, skirts and jackets I’ve worn over the years. Claire recently discovered the tin under the table, and since she’s no longer putting anything and everything in her mouth (I still don’t trust 2-year-old Luca duke), I opened it for her. Claire’s eyes got as wide as the biggest jacket button in there, and she proceeded to sort through them the same way I did when I was little – by size, color and texture.

Part 2

Last week I went hiking alone for the first time. A real hike at a place I’d never been before – Todd Nature Reserve. With a scant reading of its trails, I decided to hike Loop Trail, a 2-mile hike that, according to the website, goes “through various forest habitats, including upland deciduous forest and the edges of hemlock ravines. The trail has rocky portions, one stream-crossing, occasional wet spots and moderate grades. Walking time: 60 minutes.”

I’ve been hiking many times, but always with a companion, usually my ex-husband. I was a little nervous to hike alone, and it didn’t help that: 1) when I got out of my car at the trailhead, there was a sign posted that read, in part, “If you encounter a bear…” and 2) I was also the only person there as the only other hiker was leaving the lot while I was pulling in.

I walked toward and into this very Thoreau-esque entrance to the woods:
And it wasn’t long before I met up with the mud:
And the stream crossing:
Each step was like adding a button to the biscuit tin that is my life. Some were ordinary, some felt like they were shaped like shamrocks. If I fell, too bad. I was the only one there to lift me up. If I slipped, I was the only one to catch me. If I was afraid, I was the only one who could comfort me.

Part 3

Last year, I left the life I’d known for 14 years; not happily, but for the greater good of not only me, but my husband. After three rough years, one of us had to flinch.

Leaving that comfort zone – which enveloped not only a marriage, but my home of 20 years – was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My first instinct was to find new comforts, but I slowly learned that’s not how life works. You don’t replace what you’ve known forever with things you’ve only test driven. A few months ago I stepped back, reevaluated, and started listening to my heart and gut and not so much my head and its ceaseless thinking and planning, convinced it’s always right.

One. Thing. At. A. Time.

Every one thing we do adds up, like adding buttons to a biscuit tin. Pretty soon you have an eclectic collection of experiences.

For instance, while I love the healthcare professionals who took care of me in my former life, for practical and financial reasons I had to replace them with folks locally. I now have a new primary care physician, chiropractor, dentist, eye doctor, and physical therapist. I shop at a different grocery store, drink coffee from a different coffee shop and a different Sheetz, buy wine at a different liquor store, bank at a different branch, hike different trails and bike different paths.

And it’s OK.

The only way we grow (or lose…as in weight) is through change. And change demands we step outside our comfort zones. But the anchors that tether us to who we are, those things that remind us what our lives are about (like those buttons in the biscuit tin), help us move more confidently outside our comfort zones.

In fact, stepping away from my comfort zones made the anchors that tie me to who I am that much stronger. As I’ve moved and changed these last several months, I’ve relied on my anchors more readily – those anchors being my children, grandchildren, friends, books, and silence. They have been with me willingly all the while. I just needed to remember I needed them.

Today I went hiking at Todd with BFF Shari. I took her on the Loop Trail. She said, “I can’t believe you did this by yourself.” Man…what a compliment.

Like buttons, I continue to add experiences, friends, and realizations to my biscuit tin that is my life. And when I have a bad day, I take out the buttons and sort them, flip them over, look at their beauty, and appreciate them for the anchors that they are.

As you move through your life – particularly as it pertains to weight loss – what are the anchors you rely on and what are some of the buttons you’re adding to your own tin? I know that this weight-loss journey I’ve been on keeps teaching me more than probably anything else has in my life.

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My Three Chapter Sunday

My Sensational Sunday can pretty much be summed up in three chapters…

I did it! Ran my first 5k since having the baby. I must admit I felt a little out of place and nervous. I went alone. It would have been too much dragging the whole family and the husband just wasn’t into it.

I actually ended up doing better than expected. I stopped to walk three times and still finished under 33 minutes.

Chart from the Nike+

The race did spark that running bug in me again. I love events and need to map out a few this summer to keep me going. I’m also considering signing up for the Baltimore Half in October. I’m thinking it will give me something longer to start training for.

After the run I danced around with the baby…

and made everyone breakfast. I had a 2 egg veggie filled omelet and A Less Green More Blue Simple Smoothie.

TOTALY yummy and may be my most favorite breakfast.

After breakfast we headed to a friends party. It was nice just to hang out for a bit. I had a turkey burger and tried to stick mostly with the fruit and veggies they had out. But I had to indulge in a chocolate chip cupcake. I wish I had the camera with me, it was too pretty.

Why are pretty desserts are so hard to pass up?

After the party we crashed. Well the the baby, the husband and I crashed. The Little Guy stayed up playing with the iPad.

I was tired. Up 3 times last night to nurse and I went to bed late after a couple of margaritas with friends. Then I woke up and ran 3 miles.

Yea.. it was a bit much.

A nice 3 hour nap was exactly what I needed. I felt and still feel so refreshed!

After the nap we ATTEMPTED to finished up the laundry but our washing machine is acting up. Now I have TWO appliances giving me trouble. In fear of sounding like an old fart… they just don’t make things the way they used to.

Anyway, we made dinner. Leftover wings, zucchini and burgers on, yup you guessed it, the grill. I have now successfully grilled every day for 8 days! I’m obsessed!

We then hung out until bed time. The husband folded the laundry we did get done and the Little Guy played with the Baby.

They are really starting to interact! It’s nice!

Once we got the kids to bed, the husband and I settled in for our favorite night of TV. I warded off the mindless snacking with a quick bag of homemade 100 calorie popcorn. I was in a munching mood and this was my compromise. Only 2 more days left on the week of snack-less nights challenge for me. It’s helped immensely to snap me out of the auto-munch mode I’ve been in.

OK, must go to bed. The Baby’s been changing up his night time feeding schedule. I’m not sure when he’ll be up tonight.

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A FitBloggin’ Three Picture Thursday

Those were three of my favorite shots taking during FitBloggin and shared on Twitter. I, for the life of me, can’t remember who snapped what. I’m pretty sure MizFit took the one of The Husband and Mom. Anyone want to claim the other two??

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to share these for almost a week! That’s how far behind I am. I don’t think I have it in my to write a post like last years. With a 2 day event there’s just SO MUCH. Plus I think I’d rather you read about the conference from the attendees point of view. Not mine. All I did what run around like a chicken without a head making sure stuff started on time.

BORING!

Instead…

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