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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hogzilla Epidemic

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[begin Hogzilla alert]

Am I the last one to know about this? It’s a Hogzilla, ya’ll. Half wild hog, half wooly mammoth domestic pig.

According to Nat Geo, these feral beasts are growing in number, sprawling all across the States and even up into Canada. Hogzilla might even be found lurking in a backyard near you. Have you seen one yet?

I propose we put this Hogzilla epidemic to good use. This is more than bacon business. The tusks and hooves, when ground up properly, can be passed off as unicorn dust. You’ll fetch a good price for faux unicorn dust in any back alley business transaction.

As for Hogzilla’s hairy hyde, I’m thinking “throw rug”, or maybe weave the coarse hairs into a string for some homemade dental floss. The possibilities are plentiful.

[end Hogzilla alert]

Notice: Stay tuned for Natural Health Weekend tomorrow. I’ll be hitting you with a very important health warning on a product ingredient I’m willing to bet you have at home among your beauty stuff.


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