I may be weird but I actually enjoy traveling with the kids, alone. Don’t get me wrong, it has it’s challenges but I look at it as bonding time with my babies. Today we had 4 hours of signing in the car, talking about school, snacking on popcorn, and just being goofballs…
I used to like it when it was just Ryan and I. Having Evan now just feels like a bonus. I get all the fun toddler-ness with an older helping hand. I’m glad I decided on 2 and even happier it took me 5 years to realize it was the right choice.
Anyway, we are here at Mom’s now, but before I left, I jumped on the scale.
Down just over a pound since last week! I plan on continuing this trend. I’m tired of playing with the same 4 pounds when I have 5 more to lose to reach MY GOAL. I’m tired of the slightly snug pants. I’m tired of feeling guilty about wanting to lose because I’m suppose to be happy with the body I’m in.
That may sound "off" but hear me out. I am happy and proud of myself for the last 7 years. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m not ashamed of my body. I don’t shy away from doing things I want to do because of a bad body image. I’m not stuck in the yo-yo dieting cycle of hell. I’m super active. I run. I play. I swim. I just wore a bathing suit at the public pool without a t-shirt!
I know.. crazy, right? I just had a baby too! Well, not "just" but 15 months ago I was 3 days postpartum and about 30 pounds heavier than I am right now. Seven years ago when I started this journey I was 57 pounds heavier than I am right now. For Pete’s sake, 12 years ago when I graduated college I was carrying 70 more pounds than I am right now.
I’m doing this. I’m managing it.
I. am. a. maintainer!
However, part of me has been struggling these last few months because of the pressure I’m putting on myself NOT to lose weight but to be an example of a healthy body image. Then I realized… I can do both. Actually, if you read my "3 Steps" you know how I feel about self-acceptance and how invaluable it is to weight loss.
Now don’t stone me, I know this is kind of the opposite of what I said in My Weight Loss A-Ha Moment. I’ll obnoxiously quote myself again,
I am now someone who doesn’t care what the scale says because of everything listed above <–THAT was My A-Ha Moment.
Here’s the thing and this may not come out right so bear with me….
I don’t really care about the number on the scale but it is the easiest tool to measure success for me right now (not always, but right now.) IF I weighed what I weigh now and all my clothes fit the way they used to, I could care less what it said (someone asked me that in a comment recently and it really stuck with me.) However, I have not hit my goal of reaching my pre-pregnancy weight and I can’t help but think doing so will make the difference.
So, can I promote a healthy body image while actively trying to lose weight? I think so. You may not agree. This is actually quite a hot topic and one we will be discussing at FitBloggin this year. You should join us! <–shameless plug
Anyway, I didn’t mean to go on a tangent. Here’s today’s food journal. I’m going to shut up now. It’s late and I’m rambling.
1 egg/1 egg white omelet with onion, zucchini and hamI love changing up my eggs for breakfastI was in for a long road trip this is how a ward off junky options from gas stations and drive thrus. McDs Southwestern grill salad sans-dressing + a small coneWe stopped for lunch, see photo above. I skipped all fries but one and opted for a cone instead. slightly addicted here. Dinner at Moms: grilled tilapia, chickpea salad, baked beans, roasted potatoes and watermelon for dessert So nice to have someone cook for me for a change! I know, it was a popcorn kind of day but Mom’s has a lot of temptations. This is, again, how I ward them off. Nothing official just some fun pool time with the kids. Let me tell you running laps to make a whirlpool is a seriously hard work! The travel got me. I’m feeling a little dehydrated today. Gonna grab an extra glass before bed.
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