Still holding steady even after my excursion to Seattle. I’m feeling a little bipolar at the moment.
Part of me feels fabulous where I am. I’ve been maintaing a healthy weight for months –a feat for anyone with my yo-yo dieting history. I’m active. My diet contains lots of fresh unprocessed foods. Frankly, I’m doing the best I can and as I age, I’m confident enough to know that’s all that matters. <-- Totally makes all the fine lines and wrinkles worth it.
However, there's another part of me that wants to "diet" just to lose these last 5 lbs. Some clothes in my closet that used to fit perfectly are still a little snug. The scale is showing numbers that made me cringe in high school. These are the same numbers that drove me down a path of yo-yo dieting and weight gain through my teens and 20s. I wasn’t fat then and I’m not fat now, but try to tell that to the 16 year old version of me. She’s not hearing it.
I don’t need a lecture. I know I’m not fat. I know I’m in my healthy range. I know I don’t need to diet. I just wish my brain would stop mulling it over and over and over again.
*sigh*
I have to admit, it felt good to get all that out of my head.
On another note, I’m looking forward to starting up my training again for that, umm, little event in September. I also have a 10 miler on Saturday I’m totally not prepared for. ugh.
I’m craving a schedule and a consistent time to work out. It helps keep me sane. Not to mention, it silences the irrational side of my brain that insists on telling rational side that I need to be thinner just to see a stupid number on a stupid scale.
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