Learning to be Flexibly Consistent

I just completed week 8 of my Half Marathon Training. Just now. Like moments ago!

It’s Monday morning and I was scheduled for an 8 mile run yesterday, but yesterday I just wasn’t feeling it. My legs were still sore from the boot camp class on Saturday, I was tired, and there was no way I could escape both kids long enough to run that distance.

So I set my eyes on today, hoping the baby would cooperate with an early morning feeding and a late morning. He did and I was able to squish the run in before the husband started work. It was my first morning run in a long time and I must say, I miss them. There’s nothing like starting the day with a workout.

Unfortunately, I can’t always do what I want to do. I have other responsibilities, namely 2 kids I have to work around. Instead, I’ve learned to be flexibly consistent–pretty much the opposite of perfect.

For so long not being able to do things perfectly prevented me from doing them at all.

When my diet wasn’t perfect I might as well eat everything in sight.If I wasn’t able to go to the gym every day why go at all?

It was crippling.

Now I apply this Flexible Consistency concept to everything.

It’s not what I eat on a date night with hubby (which happened to be 2 margaritas and plateful of enchiladas at Don Pablos on Saturday.) It’s what I eat day in and day out that makes the most impact on the scale.

It’s not that I missed a workout while on vacation. It’s that I continued my training when I got back home.

Being flexibly consistent is a state of mind that has taken me a few years to master. It comes with practice and continual reinforcement that I am able to reach goals in a realistic and imperfect way. I think it started when I realized my diet had to be stateless. There is no on/off mentality anymore, just a string of decisions, all of which own.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. My mind wanders on these runs. :)

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Learning The “Ropes”

This week was filled with those first warm spring days in which you can’t help but smile every time you breathe.

I moved into the left side of this 100-year-old duplex last November when nature had gone dormant and so had I.

Six months later, buds are budding, birds are nesting, flowers are blooming, and my seasonal affective disorder has migrated for another year.
Gardening is an old friend, and it’s been especially comforting this year as I learn my way through this unfamiliar new life. Along with patient friends and a supportive family, what sustained me through the unusually harsh winter were thoughts of what was lying in my new yard beneath its snow and leaves and decay of last year’s growth.

‘What are you hiding and what might we grow together?’

This week we finally got acquainted, my yard and me, when I raked up, dug up, and pruned five 30-gallon bags worth of compostable material, and surveyed the early spring perennials and the beds in which they have emerged. I planned (at least in my head because god knows I’ll change my mind a hundred times when I walk into a nursery) what annuals I will plant come May and how much mulch I’ll need.

….ahhhhhh….I heart spring!

I watched, for the hundredth time, this video when I was with the g-babies the other day. It always makes me smile.

Spring is here, in all its complexity. It’s not perfect this year, it’s not what I expected, but it’s here nonetheless. And you know what? That’s gotta be OK because Mother Nature’s not asked any of us for our opinion.

Soooo….in getting all cool with my yard, I realized that gardening is familiar, but lawn work is not. The people who lived on the other side of the duplex – the ones who shoveled the walks this winter and would mow the yard this year – bought a house and moved out a few weeks ago, leaving yours truly with the keys to the shed. So a few days after doing what was familiar – gardening – I took on the unfamiliar. Mowing.

I earned my allowance and spending money cutting grass as a kid, but I haven’t pushed a mower in 30 years, let alone start one.

I heaved the mower from the shed and looked for some kind of button thingy that I remember pushing to prime the engine for easier starting. Apparently that went out with the dinosaur, and mowers have advanced in this post-ice-age technology.

I knew to hold up the metal bar on the handle and hang on to it as I pulled the rope to start it. But the motor was having none of it. After several attempts, I concluded that I was either A) too weak to pull the rope hard enough (why is self-depreciation always the first option?). But I assured myself that I work out diligently and am strong, so that really wasn’t an option; or B) I wasn’t priming it the right way.

“Hey, neighbor, want some help starting that thing?” a voice called from over the fence.

‘Crap,’ I thought. I couldn’t hide my mower-starting efforts with all the grunting and such and a motor taunting me with every pull: “Ummm….no. Ummmm…no. Try again. Ummm…..no.” My need for help was transparent.

I swallowed my self-consciousness and called back over the fence, “Yes, I could use some help.”

Mr. Neighbor came over, and within a few minutes, had the mower running. Like a patient father, he showed me how to move the throttle on the handle to start the mower properly. He insisted I try it myself a few times, and while that felt a little weird (I’m 47 for godsake!), I adjusted the handle throttle and pulled the rope and…by golly…it started every time! On the outside I was totally cool, but secretly inside I was doing a HUGE happy dance.

By the time my lesson was over, it was getting late and I had plans. No time to mow. So I dragged the mower to the porch and figured I’d get ‘r done first thing after the g-babies arrived today.

“This is Grammy’s mower!” I said to Claire and Luca, pushing the red monstrosity on to the yard. “You two stand back while I start it, OK?”

Moments later….

“What’s wrong, Grammy?” asked Claire. “Why won’t it start?”

Pull. Pull. PUUUUULLLL! Dammmmmmit!

I looked at them. They looked at me.

“Grammy, why can’t you start it?” Claire asked again.

….Sigh…

What I’d normally have done is swear a lot and kick the tires and blame the machine. But I had a 3- and 2-year-old depending on me to be a responsible grandmother, so I took a deep breath and went over in my head yesterday’s instructions.

“Pull the throttle up to start and, holding this bar, move it down to get maximum power.”

I pulled the throttle forward, pulled the rope and YAY!! Mower power ensued! Vrrrooooom, vvvvvroom! Eureka!

Luca was impressed. He followed me all over the yard. Claire just gathered my hand tools and went to the driveway to dig up rocks. But the point is, I mowed my lawn – the first lawn in 30 years – and I did it well. I learned there are water-logged dips in the middle of my yard and water-deprived inclines. Whoever lived here before had a dog or three because there are clear indications of “This is my place to pee” dog markings.

But all in all, I think my yard and I are going to get along juuuuuust fine. In fact, I’ve gone outside more than a few times today or peeked through the blinds just to admire my “work.” God knows my shoulders and hamstrings are shot right now. Thank goodness for Advil. But I’ll adjust.

Hopefully we have a long summer ahead, full of gardening and mowing opportunities. I look forward to that planned peace.

Life, as my sister-in-law always reminds me, is good. It really is. Rough and bumpy as my lawn? Yes. Uncertain as spring? Yes. But we’re doing it and living it every day, so why not progress in those day-by-day infinitesimal moments by deciding to learn how to…for lack of a better metaphor…prime the mower the right way and start it?

***********SIDE NOTE!**************

Claire made the “That’s Church” blog today! That’s Church is a blog about everything Pittsburgh, and is written by the always honest and very funny Virginia Montanez.

Claire dictated a letter to her mom (my amazing daughter Cassie) for Pittsburgh Penguins player Sidney Crosby while he was recovering from his “brain boo boo,” as Claire calls it (a concussion). She included this picture she made for him, too:

The Pens sent her an autographed photo of Sid, and it’s become more important to her than her two previous favorite things: blanket and chickipoo.

Go Pens! Or as Luca says, “Uh, uh, PENS!!”

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Guest Post: Learning from My 25 lb Weight Loss Plateau

A few guest posts did trickle in! Today’s maternity leave post is by Patty from A Day in My NYC. Patty is one of the friendliest, warmest bloggers I know. I’m so glad I got a chance to meet her at BlogHer this past summer and I’ll get to see her again at FitBloggin’11!

Side note: All is well with the little bean. We are setting into a routine–taking a short morning walk, nursing every 2 hours and sleeping when we can. :) Now… Enjoy Patty’s post… :)

When I began my weight loss journey back in 2009, I had a great first year and lost 30 lbs. I felt amazing and was so dedicated to eating healthy. I rarely ventured off to indulgent foods. In fact I didn’t miss them at all. How I wish that “honeymoon phase” of my weight loss journey could last forever. Coincidentally Summer of 2010 hit just as I reached this weight loss mark. I was out of the plus size clothes and comfortably wore a swimsuit that year. It had been the first time in a very long time I didn’t have to wonder if last year’s summer clothes would fit me. In fact I knew they were a little loose on me. With this new confidence came the desire to be out and about town with friends, meaning were more meals eaten out and I had to make do with my best choices.

At first I didn’t veer off my food plan but then I started to “get cute” and having an extra french fry, an extra scoop of ice cream, or an extra fruity drink. To rationalize this the feelings of entitlement kicked in. “I deserve this because I’ve worked so hard to lose weight”, “Just one won’t hurt”, and other self-sabotaging thoughts like this. I indulged and by Summer’s end I had gained 5 lbs. Now while you might say this isn’t such a big deal, it is not where I need to be. I still have to lose about 40 more pounds to reach my goal weight.

For awhile I didn’t know what my motivation to keep going was. I was happy maintaining and at the same time I wasn’t. I had to dig really deep and find answers within myself. Which brings me to where I am today, still down 25 lbs and seeing a breakthrough coming. I lost 1.8 lbs last week, that has been the first significant loss this year. I’m working really hard to keep that scale moving down. The truth is that I am not satisfied with just losing 25 lbs. I want to reach my goal weight. Thanks to my fantastic Weight Watcher leader, I’ve learned that my weight loss pace is unique to my lifestyle and body. She always points out in the meeting that it took her 5 years to lose 45 lbs but she never gave up. I may not drop the pounds like you rock stars every week, but I’m not giving up on this journey. I’m sticking it out for as long as it takes for me. Here are just a few things I’ve learned about myself that have kept me sane and motivated to keep going.

Your mind and body need an adjustment period.Hitting a significant weight loss mark did something to me psychologically. I was feeling great and thinking “I’ve got this!” Maybe it was over confidence or the thrill of finding yourself “smaller” for the first time in a long time. I’m slowly giving this less focus and redirecting my energy to getting to goal and thinking about how that will feel. Also my mom, who is no weight loss expert but a very smart lady, keeps pointing out to me that maybe my body needs some time to adjust at this weight before it can move on. It could be, because isn’t that what plateaus are about anyway? Do not give up.I am the person who goes to my Weight Watcher meeting every week. I wouldn’t say my attendance is 100% for the year, but 94% of the time I am at my meeting. I’ve seen these 5 lbs go up and down for months. It’s frustrating as can be, but for me the idea of not going to a meeting is just too scary. If I don’t go to meetings I may fall off this weight loss journey and that is something I’m not okay with me. So for better or worse I go to my meetings because something a member or my leader may say will make me think about my food choices and I will strive to do better than the previous week.Focus on the positive accomplishments.My friends, both in the blog world and in the real world, constantly remind me that it’s not a bad thing to maintain a 25 lb weight loss for a year. You know what? It’s a GREAT thing. I never give myself enough credit but it truly is. So I’m saying it here. If you’ve lost 5, 10, 15, whatever the number is and have maintained that loss, it’s a great accomplishment. Do not sell yourself short.Move more. This may also count under the positive accomplishment category. Summer 2010 was also the summer I took up running and ran my first 5k race. I never would have thought of running at my heaviest weight. I never wanted to run, but one day I just went for it. Running is the most rewarding exercise I have found. I’m already back out there running as the temperatures warm up and will run my first 5k at FitBloggin in May.Ask for help. I do this all the time. I blog about my weight loss, I talk to my WW leader about it, I tweet what I eat, I talk to my family about it, I read your weight loss blogs, try your recipes and participate in twitter parties focused on weight loss. I do all this because it helps me to stay focused. I get inspired when a fellow weight loss blogger hits a milestone in their journey. I love to celebrate their success and be supportive if they struggle because I struggle as well. Don’t be afraid to ask for help because if I’ve learned anything about weight loss bloggers is that we are a very supportive group.

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