Am I sleep deprived?

sweet sweet crack of dawn writing.

To know me at all is to know Im a lark.

I never, ever set an alarm (while I am, indeed, Kramer I also believe if I dont wake up Im not meant to be up.  I always wake up.). 

Given all that—if faced with the choice between SCHVITZ or SLEEP–Id*still* probably choose reading sleep.

Ive been a lifelong bad sleeper (light sleeper. no napper.  Ive received the child I deserve.) and yet I rarely walk around Oakland feeling sleep deprived.

Im early to bed.  Early to rise.  And feel pretty damn good all day doing it.

Ive realized the times I find myself saying “Im so exhausted!” stem more from emotional exhaustion or allergies than true, to the core, sleepiness.

sleep isnt at the top of my list.

Still.

The other day as I labored through cardio I do not love I was distracted by The KATIE show.

The focus of the show was SLEEP (how to get more etc) & the most interesting segment offered a quick way to assess if the sleep youre getting is enough for *you.*

A swift way to evaluate if youre living a sleep deprived life based wholly on ability to LOOK and REACT.

I seized the excuse to cut short that morning’s thirty minute routine finished my workout, grabbed a ruler, & prepared to evaluate my reaction time.

Do I need more of this?!

Here’s the exercise:

Snag a plastic ruler & a partner.Have partner hold ruler at top while you LOOSELY hold with thumb/index finger at bottom.Ask partner to surprise you/release ruler while you attempt to GRAB with thumb/index fingers as quickly as possible.Record the number “grabbed” and compare to norms below.

40 mm EXCELLENT.

80 mm GOOD.

100 mm AVERAGE.

140 mm SLOW.

180 mm GO TO BED! GO TO BED!

Here’s also where I reveal Ive been afraid to do the assessment. 

Yet.

I feel good. 

I dont feel sluggish.

I may be Ben(jamina) Franklin but I firmly believe it works for me.

Here’s also where I reveal Id be sad if the ruler indicated Im sleepy—because I feel pretty damn great!

As a result Im dragging you in *with* me.

Wanna grab a Tornado partner, a ruler & join me in the sleep deprivation assessment?

Pinky swear I will hit you up with my number-results in the comments below.

Let’s do this thing…

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I Feel All Deprived and Archaic ‘n Stuff

So, yeah. Me and the child-spawns have been denied microwave usage for over 7 years now. Only us. Not the husband.

I feel all deprived and archaic ‘n stuff.

The first microwave caught on fire when Greedy Kid #1 decided to cook Oodles of Noodles with no water in it. That dry, stiff block of noodles. No water at all. WTH?

And the second microwave was shooting sparks from the bottom like those Fourth of July sparklers thingies. I had to pull the plug before fiery flames engulfed the kitchen.

That was it. It was over for us.

Me and the spawns were unjustly labeled “fire starters” by the husband. He got himself another new microwave and set it up in his man cave instead. If you know anything about man caves, they’re not the kind of place a woman desires to hang out. The fanciest of man-cavers might maintain theirs like a palace, but the man cave over here smells like stale cigars and needs maid service with hazmat gear.

I ain’t going in there. Don’t wanna. Been using the stove instead. For everything.

But here’s the sad part.

Greedy Kid #2 came home all bummed out for some reason. So I said to him, “What’s the problem, boy?”

And he says to me, “I went to my friend’s house today. We were about to eat snacks, but I didn’t know how to work the microwave. It was embarrassing.”

GASP!

My children do not have the First World life skill of microwave operation.

Oh well.

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