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Friday, April 13, 2012

Anti-Aging Fitness Facial Docu-drama (Hold Onto Your Granny Pannies!)

Wait. How the hell did I get so old? Oh, that’s right. It’s year 2043. You’re still reading this blog? Shouldn’t you be flossing your dentures and eating jello through a straw?

…rewinds back to 2012…

So now that the Aging Booth has used their crackhead crystal ball to forecast what I’m supposed to look like in 31 years, how can I prove these bastards wrong? I’m 39 years old now, and something’s been going on with my face for, hmmm, a little over a year now.

In addition to the spontaneous woman-whiskers that show up on my chin (I keep emergency tweezers in my pocket for that), I’ve also been noticing fine lines around my eyes, random dark spots (age spots?), a bit of darkness and dryness under my eyeballs, and other imperfections that I terribly disapprove of.

I chatted with a fancy makeup specialist in an effort to purchase expensive magical makeup to cause my face to appear anti-mature. What she explained to me during my consultation was a serious wake up call:

“Those spots on your face are sun damage,” she says.

“Wait. Black people can get sun damage?” I said.

“Yeah bitch, so stop being a dumbass and protect your face from the freaking sun,” she says to me.

…at least that’s how I heard it.

Turns out I’m supposed to be using an SPF product on my face. And I do. I have! But not faithfully. And now my sporadic face care has finally caught up to me. I freaked out real good that day and bought an SPF 50, and a bunch of make up that’s still sitting in the closet. Was that overkill?

Since then I’ve been through a lot of face care products that suck, either because I didn’t like them on my face and/or they were too dang expensive. So I’m shopping at Target one day when this Boots rep starts talking to me about my face. Now allow me to keep this docu-drama short (I know, I know, you want the longest version available), and I’ll just tell you that I finally found my anti-aging face care match.

It’s gentle, effective, therapeutic, invigorating, makin’ my face clear & bright, affordable… AND! I feel so pampered. That’s what Boots does for me.

Boots No7 Lifting & Firming Eye Cream:

Ahhh. This eye cream is luscious and emollient and feels so good around my eyes. It’s smooth and hydrating, not oily. I was never sold on the idea of anti-aging creams in the past, but I’ve seriously noticed that the area around my eyes is much brighter with a rejuvenated, perky appearance. SCORE!

Boots No7 Total Renewal Micro-dermabrasion Exfoliator:

After reading an awesome micro-dermabrasion overview, I knew this treat could be really good for me. And it has been! Prior to micro-dermabrasion my face looked tired and splotchy. I also had old scarring from zits that I picked at a long time ago. But after only a few treatments with micro-dermabrasion, I can see the evenness returning to my skin and much brighter appearance. That matted, gray-ish, tired look in my face is outta here, baby! ** follow micro-derm instructions very carefully.

Now I know what you’re thinking. I don’t need this stuff. I don’t look my age. There’s no doubt that a clean diet, lots of water, not wearing 35 layers of makeup everyday and NOT smoking has helped my face stay fresh. But the older I get, I cannot deny the aging I see creeping up. That’s where my Boots stash does me good.

The lesson here? If you’re in your 20's, use a good SPF daily. If you’re in your 30's and beyond, care for your face well with the right products so it can love you back. If you can’t find Boots products at Target, or you’re just too lazy to go there, then follow this link to shop Boots anti-aging while sitting on your ass.


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