Ive shared before how I struggled growing up with wanting to fit in.
We all did in some fashion. I know Im not unique in this way.
For me it was a little longing to go to CCD with my friends (why did I imagine that being super fun?) & want *not* to skip school for Jewish holidays (I cringe now, but back then just wanted not to stand out.)
Some of you shared how you wished you’d looked different (many “I wanted blond hair like Barbie!” remarks) or come from a different background–but all of us agreed it is what we’d once perceived to be“horrible” differences which make us the strong individuals we are today.
I was surprised the Tornado didn’t clamor to celebrate Christmas this year.
Id assumed with the advent of Kindergarten & being surrounded by the season at school (a rant for a different day) she’d ask about having a tree, hanging stockings or why we didnt receive the conveted visit from Santa. I know I had these same thoughts & questions at her age.
Id was on high-alert around the holidays & ever prepared for the We’re Jewish. We celebrate Hanukkah. conversation.
What’s the quote?
We make map out religious conversation-plans and G-d laughs?
Of course in this misfit-family thats precisely what happened.
The other day I discovered the Tornado fastidiously fashioning something out of popsicle sticks.
I didnt think too much about it as she’s recently been on an arts & crafts tear. I figured she was attempting to make a G-d’s Eye as they had in school.
A few minutes later I heard the front door slam and because Im still HUGELY obsessed even at six she’s going to immediately run into the road and wait to be run over & I peeked out the window to see what she was doing.
She’d created a cross out of the sticks and was attempting to pound it into the ground with a rock.
When she came inside I nonchalantly asked what she’d been up to. She responded:
I accidentally stepped on two snails, Mama. I made a cross for them like we see on the road**.
And just like that our conversation about religion (& crosses & commemorating the place where people have died) was born.
Similar to many of our healthy living AH HA! moments the Tornado’s AH HA! about who she is & how our family is different unique was born not from a big!momentous!occasion! like Christmas—-but a smaller, almost aside of an incident.
Ive been fortunate to hear many, many of your stories about discovering your healthy living paths.
It seems the majority of you began your journey–as I did–not sparked by a life-altering moment but by a small quietly powerful incident.
Alas Ive no Seinfeldian-string to pull with this post.
There’s no sleight of hand where all my musings falls into place & the disparate pieces *snap* together.
The incident was simply a reminder to me of two things:
No matter how much we prepare for life it will take us by surprise (& that’s a good thing).
Who we are & how we define ourselves is a compilation of the small stuff. The LITTLE ACTIONS which make big impacts. (Even though I like to frequently think otherwise.)
In the end The Tornado decided not to make a popsicle stick Star of David (“like on Mama’s belly!”) & created a letter T instead.
While she insisted she chose it because it stood for “top! I mean wait, tears!!!” I think she, like her mama, just lacked the arts & crafts patience fashioning a 6-pointed would have necessitated.
That’s the navel-gazing (in more way than one) story here on this Tuesday.
Filled with crosses, ah ha! moments, & the differences which define us.
Oh, and if you starT seeing T’s all over AusTin or your Town, you’ll know the Tornado was capable of starTing a Trend.
Crazier things have happened….especially in my misfit life.
**There are, indeed, crosses all over the Austin roads many times accompanied by a white bicycle.
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