Total Pageviews

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Skinny Gun© Fer Realz

A while back we fake invented this….
The Skinny Gun©
You count on your fingers, you scribble on your datebook, you write it on your hand! Fiber, Fat, Calories, Points, Carbs! So many numbers you have to add to stay on your diet. But just think about it. Every single food item you purchase has a bar code. The price is loaded into that barcode and now thanks to technologies developed by DTBMULF Industries there’s The Amazing Skinny Gun© !

Just choose your diet. Counting points? Set it to Weight Watchers Wand Mode! Counting carbs? Set it to Atkins Attack Mode. Then aim The Skinny Gun© at anything you want to eat. The Skinny Gun© will calculate your numbers, keep a running total, AND shock the crap out of your hand when you aim it at items that put it over your daily total! Order today. Operators are standing by.

*And for a limited time you get the patented Hormone Zone Attachment©. At certain times of the month/life/menopause/or post-partum the Hormone Zone Attachment© will release the Mood Shooter. Instead of counting points The Skinny Gun© will release snarky comments aimed at any one or thing you choose. Just smile and point – let the Mood Shooter do the dirty work!

No more counting, calculating, or remembering. Now with The Skinny Gun© it’s Ready, Aim, Diet!

Legal notice – if someone actually comes up with this you heard it here first and we’ll be the like Winklevoss Twins. We’ll dog you for our $65 Million until you give us $80 Million just to go away. You’ve been warned. We’re pretty sure we’re legally covered now. ORDER TODAY! Oh and we MAY just change the name to SkinnyGun© because we just saw The Social Network and it seems that the Napster guy thinks using the word “the” is sort of cluttered. SO we’re also claiming SkinnyGun© – order today!

Well guess the heck what? The Lose It App on our phone just upgraded it sort of DOES have a Skinny Gun©. Oh sure it’s not called that BUT you point your phone at a barcode and KAPOW you get the nutritional info logged right into  your food journal. It’s weird. Wonderful. Effective and DANG why didn’t we actually invent it. Alas… reach for the sky The Skinny Gun© is here!




View the original article here

No comments: