(please to STOP, sit down, & commence gazing at your own navel as I proceed to blog whilst gazing into mine)
It’s been a wee while since Ive blogged stream of consciousness.
Whether it appears so or not (and believe me given my writing style Im cognizant of the fact it does not)—I tend to blog, put away, retrieve later, edit the crap out of said blog & post.
Not tonight.
These muzings have been rattling around in my brain for so long I simply need somewhere to dump them and you, as a captive audience for as long as you dont clickaway! clickaway!, are the unlucky reciepients.
Exactly TWO weeks from today the Tornado starts kindergarten.
(Ill let that sink in as I like to think everyone is a stunned by that fact as am I.)
As a result lately she’s been going through the requisite mama Im kind of freaking out with excitement here! IM FIVE!! progression of separating & retreating back to me to be sure Im still around.
When we head out to terrorize our local bookstore she immediately wanders off with the ‘friends’ she’s met 3 minutes prior & is slowly readying herself for the breaking-away which is kindergarten.
Invariably, after any occasion where she’s gallivanted off on her own, as soon as we’re safely back in the domicile she becomes extra clingy and says:
Mama, I want you hold me.
Which brings me to my point (rather circuitously yet more rapidly than I’d anticipated when I hit NEW POST):
I love this about her (and really most kids) as she knows what she needs and is willing to make herself vulnerable and ask for it.
My question, as she readies to join her peers full-time:
When do we lose the ability to reveal our needs & plainly state what we desire.
When do we veer away from I want you hold me & toward feeling as though we must do everything on our own and/or (almost worse in my opinion) expect others to guess what we need?
Ren Man & I have talked about this ad nauseum and have come up empty.
I know for me the ability to ask for what I need has been an evolution.
One which started as a joke (a mocking of a Days of Our Lives scene where one character approached another and wailed HOLD ME ABE!!) & has slowly evolved to many a serious moment of making myself vulnerable as asking does not always mean we will receive.
What I wish for my girl is that she is *not* me in this realm.
What I wish for my girl is she can always express I want you hold me & allow herself to be vulnerable with people no matter how risky an endeavor that may at times feel to be.
What I wish for my girl is she may reap the benefit of your wisdom and life-experience.
When was the last time you metaphorically(or literally) uttered the words: I want you hold me.
To whom are you able to make yourself vulnerable? Did this list used to be longer?
If youre like most of us grown-up types & have lost this ability what is your I want you hold me youve grown unable to speak?
I know I always say please to hit me up in the comments, but today more than ever I seek your wisdom.
Please to hit us ALL up below.
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