A long time ago in a universe far, far away I ordered a lil’ blue “Just 10? wristband from the Doctor Oz show. I ordered it so long ago that I do not remember how I heard about it or when I filled out the web form requesting it. I do think they said shipping could take 6-10 weeks, so I’m evidently incapable of remembering anything before October of 2010. How was Labor Day, y’all? I can’t recall.
The wristband is part of The Just 10 Challenge started by Doctor Oz (or more likely a producer of his TV show). The program motivates overweight people to lose just 10 pounds because even that small amount of weight loss can lower your blood pressure, reduce your risk for a stroke, ward off dementia, lower your risk for uterine and breast cancer, and lower your cholesterol up to 10%. So says the web site anyway, and the Internet would not lie to me, not the sweet Internet that sings me to sleep with digital MP3s.
The blue “Just 10? wristband was free, but it looks like the program is over because the web page to order one on Zapppos.com is now redirecting to their main site. Sorry! It also appears there are a few available on eBay if you don’t mind paying for something that’s supposed to be free.
Anyway, I’ve always thought these little wristbands made of rubber, plastic, or alien, space-age materials were rather dorky. I’ve seen the yellow LiveStrong wristbands and they rarely match what the person attached to the wrist is wearing (which might be the point: to stand out). I’ve also thought they make the wearer seem a bit smug and morally superior, as if they are flaunting their do-gooder-ness for a particular cause. But I am an evil girl who is going to get nasty comments, so you don’t have to bother telling me what hell smells like because I’ll find out on my own eventually.
I felt like a dork ordering this wristband, but I did it anyway because I do want to lose weight and I figured it wouldn’t hurt me, only the environment, because we don’t have enough plastic/rubber/space bracelets in the landfills as it is. How will future civilizations now about our weight obsession without going through our trash and finding this thing?
I’ve had it for three days now and…it sort of helps. When I was at the National Figure Skating Championships earlier this week, I walked past a cotton candy vendor and thought, “Mmmmmm, cotton candy.” But then I fingered by wristband and snapped it against my forearm once or twice and thought, “God damn you, Doctor Oz!” And I walked on.
Then the other night I was laying on the couch, my headache was amped up a bit, and I was seriously thinking of driving to the grocery to get some ice cream. Then I fingered the bracelet again, and I stayed on the couch cursing Doctor Oz instead.
The bracelet fits snugly halfway up my forearm. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s tight enough that I do notice it’s there once ever few hours. I like how it says “Just 10,” too. It’s the “Just” that’s endearing. It’s not, “Holy Shit, 50 pounds? For real?” or “Realistically? One year to goal.” It’s like an optimistic yet not overly perky friend who’s breaking down a big task into small parts for me. Just 10 for now! We’ll figure out the rest later.
So, yes, I like the dorky blue bracelet! I plan to keep on wearing it, at least until I forget it’s there or it cuts off my circulation and turns my whole hand blue to match. Either way, I plan to keep on hating Doctor Oz for awhile.
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