WE’RE NOT DOGS. WE’VE EARNED BETTER.

Have you ‘earned’ a Little Debbie?

Oh people.

To know me is to know I blog with an editorial calendar.

I write blog posts.

I put away said posts.

I edit edit edit posts (yep. those long rambles you read are INDEED the shorter versions. terrifying–I realize.).

I publish posts.

Im simply no longer the off-the-cuff-blogger I was when writing as a mama-blogger perpetually on the verge.

And, for the most part, this approach works for me.

Except for now.

For TONIGHT.

As Im phone-blogging CRAZILY in the aisles of my Safeway grocery.

(if I werent in OAKLAND–which rivals AUSTIN in the weird–I might stick out like the proverbial sore thumb. to my delight–I do not.)

This post was initially sparked in my cranium over the long weekend as I lolled with the child and watched a bit too much late night TV when I happened upon this commercial.

To put it mildly I was miffed.

Supremely annoyed.

Yammered *at* the husband who didnt get it IRRITATED.

It’s for that reason (prompted to publish by pushing my cart *past* the L.D.’s & watching others plop them into baskets) Im seeking your thoughts & reactions.

I love the advertisement’s underlying message of re-discovering our child within.

Thats a huge reason behind why I advocate (even before the Tornado!) PLAYouts over workouts.

I believe we’re all happier when able to tap back into joy we found in activities (monkey bars to musical instruments) during our younger, more carefree days.

It makes me crazy & roll my eyes so hard I fear they may never be righted in my head Little Debbie’s is attempting to tie this re-discovery in with the notion we’ve “earned” or “deserve” a sugar-laden treat.

While to those of us who live in the fitness world the notion of Im not a dog. I will not reward myself with food! may be second nature–I venture to guess this is not the norm for the majority of society.

Many of us in the healthy living tribe may watch these commercial and think:

Huh. I was rewarded with sugary stuffs when I was a child. Now? Im armed with a decadence list. I know how to self-care without sabotaging my health! Sure life may be all things in moderation—but NOT because I ‘deserve’ or have ‘earned’ it. Food doesnt possess power like that.

Those outside our tribe?

During the final words in this Little Debbies advertisement all I could think about was:

Heck yes she’s going to “pay for that.” Mindless eating in the aisles of a grocery store in an attempt to re-capture the joy of her younger self? She’ll pay for that one way or another indeed.

And now you.

In a way not at all reminiscent of “always end your blog post with a call to action!” —-today I seek your reactions as I stand here wondering if all these musings are peculiar to me.

Do you find the campaign to be at best insulting & at worst encouraging of unhealthy food-behaviors in an already unhealthy society?

MizFit disclosure: I happily consumed Little Debbie upon many occasions when I was a child. Less than a slam of the ‘snak cake’ in general Im disappointed in their choice of wording and ad campaign.

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My pedometer made me a better mother.

my feet. circa 2006.

To know me is to know Im an *early* adopter (we had a DVR when most still used VHS tapes) or the l-a-s-t to the soiree (I jumped on the Crocs bandwagon LONG after said wagon had been abandoned).

To know me is to also be aware Im opinionated.  To the point of resembling a Tornado petulant child.

Once I get into my head I dislike something (hello mayonnaise!) I never really give it a chance.

Back in the 90s when everyone was tracking/counting—I decided I hated pedometers.

This disdain had nothing to do with the fact I exercise intuitively (I didnt then) & everything to do making a snap decision.

I encouraged others to wear pedometers, rock heart rate monitors and embrace gadgets—but they weren’t for me.

Until they were.

Recently my back started hurting.

I blamed it on my piriformis/the fact I needed to foam roll more–yet I knew, intuitively it was because I sat too much.

Id become the most sedentary healthy living writer I knew.

It was time for a change, I was desperate for a change, I decided a pedometer might be that change.

It took me one day to learn I walked as much as a bed ridden person.

I exercise consistently—but after 30 minutes it’s workwritingworkwritingSITTING for much of my day.

the life of an UpAtCrack working misfit.

I PLAYout with the Tornado —- but those activities (monkey bars, SKIP IT) do not equate to steps (who knew?).

I’d get stuck here for hours & hours

We’ve gots a canine–but right now he’s hell on a leash not super walk friendly.

not helping…yet!

I realized if left to my own work-housework-grocery-work-childtime-work-bed devices Id plateau at 3 thousand steps EARLY in the day & not add much from there.

I was far behind the average American.

I committed to stepping it up (pun intended) and, to my surprise, more steps made me a better mother in the process.

My pedometer increased my patience. To mother (canine or otherwise) is to spend lots of time cleaning, straightening, retrieving, and organizing.  Even with my foray into the Orange Rhino I wasnt exceedingly patient when the Tornado would say, as we were leaving the house, OH MAMA I FORGOT XXX. WILL YOU GO GET IT FOR ME? until the pedometer. I no longer heard demands of a disorganized child—I heard her saying HERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SQUEEZE IN STEPS!! 

(imagine image here of me happily skipping inside domicile to retrieve fleece jacket)

My pedometer was an opportunity to PRACTICE NOT PREACH.  My approach to parenting life is to practice what I preach & say not a word.  Before my pedometer it hadnt occurred to me a step-count display would be a sign to the Tornado we *both* needed to move!  On days she’d see my count was low she’d take the initiative to suggest we go play.  You dont need to be a mom to know ANYTHING which promotes healthy living *and* spares us nagging is win-win. when did her fingers get so BIG?!

My pedometer was a FLASHING reminder of self-care.   I take care of myself first.  I get up *early* to do so—but Ive learned if I dont place my oxygen mask on first I cannot ‘do unto’ others for the rest of my day.  It quickly became apparent on days I ONLY did unto others my step count was miniscule.  This is inevitable some days—this is NOT fine as consistent practice. SELF-CARE= a relaxing amble around the lake

So there’s my confession: a gadget Id hated without meeting is now a helpful tool in my belt with regards to being a kinder, gentler, misfit-Mama.

And you?

Are you an AVOWED pedometer junkie?What lessons have you learned from increasing your steps?

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Vacuums and Bodies Work Better When You Consult the Owner’s Manual

I bought a Dirt Devil canister vacuum when I moved to Da’burgh 8 months ago. It’s not quite the dog-hair-sucker upright Kenmore – with what seemed like 382 settings and attachments – that I left behind, but it is more portable and gets the job done.

The double D came with an owner’s manual, which I promptly put in the junk drawer along with the microwave manual and the toaster oven manual and the range manual and the Cuisinart manual and Harrison Township’s 2011 garbage and recycling schedule. (I know it’s garbage day when I look out the window. If the neighbors have their garbage out in the morning, I slap on my sandals and roll the can to the curb.)
Last Saturday, Cooper the Wookie came to visit for the weekend. The boy is a very hairy Flat-Coated Retriever you can groom and groom and groom again and still leaves a silhouette every time he gets up off the floor or couch. When he went home yesterday, he left behind enough fur to stuff several accent pillows.
After he left, I took out DD and started to vacuum. I’d noticed a few months ago (yes…a few months ago…*hanging my head in shame*) that it wasn’t picking up as much as it used to, but I lived with what it could do because I wasn’t curious enough to find out why it wasn’t working at her highest potential. But yesterday, when it was merely moving Cooper hair around and not sucking it up, I gave it the attention it needed months ago.
Of course by “attention” I mean I assumed I knew what was wrong. First I checked the hose for a clog. That wasn’t the problem. I cleaned out the dirt cup, which – surprise, surprise – wasn’t very full. That wasn’t the problem, either. Finally, I disassembled part of the canister and gave it a shake – a vacuum version of a smack on the TV when the screen goes wonky. But when I reassembled the canister and turned on the power, it still had little suction.
That’s when I reluctantly walked to the junk drawer and dug out DD’s owner’s manual buried under the batteries, the loose-change bag, the matches, the box of birthday candles, an extension cords, a Clorox bleach wand, a bag of thread, a first-aid kit, an address book and a hot water bottle. I turned to page 9 and began reading the troubleshooting guide.
Problem: Cleaner tools won’t pick-up. Possible reason: 1. Hose clogged (“Nope.”); 2. Dirt container full (*eyeroll* “Duh…no.”); 3. One or both filters are clogged (*sigh* “I clean the filter all the…wait… BOTH filters? There’s a second?”
(For some reason, at that moment, I started hearing Darth Vader in my head, “So, you have a twin sister... Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will!” Mental note: rent “Return of the Jedi” this weekend.)
I flipped back to page 2 and the diagram of the vacuum. Sure enough, there is a second filter located inside the first filter inside the dirt cup. I unscrewed the filter and took out the most gawdawful dirty filter I’ve ever seen. I mean, that baby was filthy. I brought it to the kitchen, and it took 15 minutes of brush scrubbing and butter-knife-poking to get all the dirt out of the folds. Once it was dry, I reassembled the filter and put it back in the dirt cup, sealed up DD and pressed the power button. Holy suction, Batman! My DD was alive again.
Understanding the functionality of a vacuum or a microwave or a car isn’t innate, even though we like to think so. The whole point of an owner’s manual is to educate us on the use and care of whatever it is we bought. However, it’s often easier to assume we know what’s wrong, even though it takes us into a frustrating maze of “you have no idea what you’re doing, you idiot.”
The same thing’s true for our bodies. We weren’t born with personal owner’s manuals, but by virtue of our experiences we write our own owner’s manuals every day. Yet how many times do we hesitate to take out that manual and learn from our experiences for how best to correct whatever’s wrong? It’s easier to assume.
God knows I’ve been making a lot of assumptions lately about my body. I get caught in that perpetual cycle of thinking, ‘I know what’s wrong,’ and not stepping back and analyzing what works for me to stay fit.
For instance, the muffin top thing I’m sporting. I was looking at it the other day while eating a fistful of melba, wondering – even though the melba was in my calorie allotment for the day – where it came from.
“Um…duh, Lynn. Carbs like that cause you to gain in your belly,” said the voice in my head.
But here’s the deal. I wanted those melba in the moment. They sounded good, looked good and so I ate them, despite copious amounts of evidence in my food journals that, to the contrary, they’re not a good choice for me. You all know I’m all about living in the moment, but eating in the moment? Not so much. That’s not what being mindful is about.
My owner’s manual, when I stop being complacent and assuming I know everything about everything, teaches me to “clean the filter,” so to speak; to remember that when I eat a smoothie before a workout, I perform better, or when I lay off a few workouts to give a sore joint a chance to heal, I don’t hurt later.
Too often I am content to work with what my body can do in the moment, even when it throws out warning signs that its filters are dirty. So my goal? To be less reluctant to consult the past and instead, work with my experience to help my body perform at its peak. Complacency and assumptions can have no place in maintaining my weight loss.

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So, you’ve always *said* you’d be better than JILLIAN?

(Why yes. That IS me jumping for joy at the mere thought of one of YOU being the next B.L. trainer!)

OK, People.

It has happened.

Ive gotten the call from a big!tv!casting director! (waitforit) and he wants you.

The collective you.

The female personal trainer yous who have always longed  to get your hands on the Biggest Loser contestants for the chance to strut your stuff, git on TV, and train like the mad woman you are.

Here’s the info:

NBC’S “The Biggest Loser” is searching for female trainers.

Are you specialized in a specific field or just an incredibly qualified, certified and experienced trainer with personality?

The following types of trainers are encouraged to apply:

- Ex-professional athletes/ ex-olympians with training certifications
- Trainers with well known clientele
- Trainers who have been featured on local news affiliates
- Trainers featured in fitness magazines
- Trainers sponsored by athletic companies (Nike, Addidas, lululemon, etc.)
- Trainers who are local celebrities

To be considered or to refer someone send the following information in an email to trainertvcasting@gmail.com:

Name:
Age:
City/State:
Name of Training Certification(S):
Years as a PT:
Contact Phone Number:
BIO: short bio on training, what they specialize in, what type of trainer they are..
Brag: Any magazine you’ve been published in, if you’ve ever been on a show, radio show, etc., won any trainer awards, anything you want to put down to brag about how good you are
LINK: Include links of any footage of them training or media they’ve done (if possible)
PHOTOS: Attach 3 photos of themselves.

Uh ok.

Whatcha waiting for?

We’ve emailed.

We’ve chatted in the comments.

We’ve texted.

We’ve tweeted.

I *know* you’ve thought at one point or another Good gosh Id be a much better trainer! Get me on that show!

This is your chance.

Get to applying.

Got any questions?  Hit me up below and Ill try and get ‘em answered for you asap.

View the original article here

Diabetic <b>Weight Loss</b> Program – On the Way to Better Health | Fast <b>...</b>

The diabetic weight loss program aims to stabilize and maintain your ideal weight and your blood sugar and cholesterol levels. it takes a doctor or a dietitian and a willing patient to be able to construct a diabetic weight loss program. that is why it is highly recommended to consult a doctor before entering such programs–you need to be aware of the risks and the proper way to go about it. here are some tips to help you get started.

It’s not just about weight loss

A diabetic weight loss program is similar in structure to a typical weight loss program, placing emphasis on proper diet and exercise. however, the diabetic should take extra care because the weight loss program is also designed to help control blood sugar and cholesterol levels. these are important in avoiding complications such as hypertension, heart disease, and kidney failure.

Controlling your glucose and cholesterol levels can be difficult if you do not maintain a healthy diet. in a diabetic weight loss program, proper nutrition is the key to success. make sure that you get the right amount of important nutrients for your body every day. If your food restrictions prevent you from getting all the necessary nutrients, ask your doctor if you can take supplements.

Part of an effective diabetic weight loss program is an increase in physical activity. Avoid a sedentary lifestyle and get regular physical activity. You have probably heard about all the benefits of exercise, but if you have diabetes, it’s all the more important.

There are a lot of simple ways to exercise, even when going to the gym or buying exercise equipment is not an option. You can staret by walking, strolling, taking the stairs, or walking your dog. however, before performing any exercise, consult your doctor to see what type of exercise will work best for you.

Eat right, not eat less

A diabetic weight loss program does not necessarily limit your food intake–it just focuses on healthier food choices. make sure you include foods from all the food groups in the right proportions. a typical weight loss meal plan combines vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean meat, fish, poultry, and low-fat dairy products into daily meals.

Low-fat, low-sugar, less salt

Your diabetic weight loss program should also provide you with low-fat and low-sugar options. Scientific studies show that starchy foods can increase your blood sugar faster than sweets and sodas can, so make sure you cut down on the white rice, white bread, and white potatoes. choose low-sugar or sugar-free options if they are available. You also need to maintain normal cholesterol levels by lessening the salt in your food and cutting down on fatty foods.

A daily dose of fiber

Fiber is essential for regular bowel movement, so your weight loss program should include more fiber-rich foods. You need around 20 to 35 grams of fiber every day, and more if you have diabetes. Good sources include beans, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. however, make sure that you drink lots of water to avoid constipation.

When shopping for food to incorporate in your weight loss program, make sure that you read their nutritional labels. Remember to check the amount per serving of cholesterol, saturated fiber, sugar content, carbohydrate content, and the dietary fiber. Nutrient reference values are expressed in daily value percentages to help

Filed under: Healthy Weight Loss Pills

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Diabetic Weight Loss Program – On the Way to better HealthDiabetic Sees Success in New Weight-Loss ProgramReview of Diet Solution Program: A program of meal plans and fat/weight loss that promises results along with true health and vitality benefits.Weight Loss Program to Eliminate Weight and Reduce Medical ProblemsFun (and health) with Foods

this entry was posted on March 6, 2011 at 6:00 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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Twitter: It’s better than cable

I had avoided watching the Butler basketball game in the second round of the NCAA tournament because I’ve decided I can’t stand to watch sports games when I actually care about the teams. It makes me anxious. (I can’t watch The Amazing Race either because I get worried that the good people will miss their flights and the bad people will win because this is not scripted and evil sometimes wins.) As I confessed last year, I love the Butler Bulldogs, and I still find comfort in the idea that there is a parallel universe somewhere in which Gordon Hayward’s buzzer beater shot from half-court actually landed in the basket, they won the tournament, and someone is producing a movie about it. And I don’t even care about basketball!

So, there I was avoiding the game, which was easy because it was on cable and I do not have cable. My dad was visiting, so we were watching a game between BYU and Gonzaga, which sounds more like a cheese than a university. Alas, CBS had an infographic at the top of the screen that updated with the latest scores and the time left in the other games. So, of course, the Butler game comes up with Butler down a point with one whole minute left in the game. And I was like, “Damn it, Butler! Why must you always do this to me? Why can’t you just demolish your opponent instead of eliminating my need for nail clippers?”

My dad and I watched the timer run down to 8 seconds (actually, I watched through my nail-bitten fingers), and then it held at 8 seconds for awhile, which was driving me crazy because I didn’t care about the cheese college’s game. So, what does a girl without cable do? She gets her Twitter on! People are always clogging up my Twitter stream with stupid talk about basketball, and now I was finally grateful for it! I pulled out my laptop and searched Twitter for the #butler hashtag. Oh, marvel at my ingenuity, me the 21st century girl (without cable).

This was at once both incredibly informative and totally confusing. For instance, in the tweet stream I would see something like this:

@bballFan4Life: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
@LiveToLayUp: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

So, something important had obviously just happened, but who was the Butler fan and who was the Pittsburgh fan? Why couldn’t their Twitter names be @ButlerRocks and @Pitts4Evah or something?

Then the clock restarted on the TV and then stopped again at 2 seconds, which is when the Twitterati let me know someone had done something stupid, though I could not determine what. I kept hitting refresh, refresh, refresh, trying to sort out facts from the chatter, and finally figured out that Butler had gotten the upper hand by one point and was good to win the game when—d’oh!—somebody fouled Pittsburgh, which meant they’d get two free throws and might win the game.

This was when I remembered why I DON’T WATCH SPORTS GAMES THAT I CARE ABOUT. I evidently needed to expand that rule to include not searching Twitter for hashtags about sports games I care about.

So, there was more rapid refreshing and I announced to my dad, who was watching over my shoulder, that there would be overtime. Yay, overtime! I hate it at work, but in this basketball game it was a Godsend. Go Bulldogs, you’re the—Oh, wait, what’s this? We’re not in overtime? There was a foul. Huh, what? Do they mean the earlier foul? Someone else couldn’t have possibly fouled with less than 2 seconds left. Did we foul again? Were we doubly stupid? When did this become “we,” anyway? Oh, right, many, many moons ago when I worked a contract job at Butler for two months. Here’s the picture of the cup I stole from IT to prove it:

Finally after several tweets about overtime, fouls, and the bowel movements of the tweeters in question, I finally figured out that Pittsburgh had fouled Butler (God only knows how), so now Butler had two free throws to break the tie and win the game they really should have won several seconds ago.

Tension!

I kept clicking the refresh button and again there was the “YESSSSSSSS!!!!” and the “NOOOOOOO!!!!” and I was like, “Yes! No! Yes! No! What the hell happened?!?!?” Finally, FINALLY, enough tweets came through for me to learn that my boys had come through and Butler had finally won, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat that they had just snatched from the jaws of victory, like some sort of metaphorical turducken, all stuffed within each other.

It was a rather odd way to follow a basketball game, as thrilling as it was confusing. I had to wait 20-30 minutes before CBS finally showed the highlights, so I was glad I hadn’t been stuck in a clueless vacuum with only a cold infographic to keep me company. Later I poked around the NCAA site and learned you can watch live streaming video of games, which would have been good to know earlier, but probably would have been choppy and unreliable because of buffering and datastream speeds and all that nonsense. Watching a game in ASCII takes much less bandwidth.

Here’s a more linear, less confusing wrap-up of the game if all the Twitter recapping left you puzzled. (I hear ya’!)

Go #butler!

"Smart, unflinchingly honest, and laugh-out-loud funny."– Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author of Still Alice

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Good, Better, Do You Wants the Best Booty?

I have always taken pride in my butt cheeks. They’re genetically modified enhanced because my momma gave it to me. But here lately my weight loss and toning efforts have caused an anomaly to occur.

My booty is getting nicely-rounder. And firmer. And more lifted.

Newsflash! Cardio + targeting toning = reformed butt cheeks.

It is longer myth to me.

And since I consider my butt cheeks an ASSet of great value, I’m ready and excited to focus on the booty s’more. Plus it will make Health-hater’s eyeballs extra happy for booty-gazing at his wife.

Enter my next exercise DVD purchase: Brazil Butt Lift (and yes, you can get it in my Beachbody Shop for yourself or for holiday givin’).

I thought my booty was good (and it was). And then I made it better (like it is right now). But I’m gonna make it the BEST.

When I first saw the Butt Lift commercial on TV, I thought it was gimmick’y. The ass-ologist of a fitness trainer, Leandro Carvalho, obviously enjoys his job as a butt lifter to celebrity stars, and now he wants your booty, too.

So I took a closer look at the exercises in the video. And I like the moves… a lot.

Snippets of the Brazil Butt Lift workout.

(video length: 2 min, 58 secs)

Whether you choose to go Brazilian with Leandro as your DVD trainer, or if you choose to do some butt lifting on your own, I can attest to the phenomenon that your ass cheeks WILL respond to your bootyfication efforts.

So are you ready to focus on your ass, people!? Check out Brazil Butt Lift.

Fitness-farting and wedgies are allowed.

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3 Things People Treat Better Than Their Bodies

Some people love things and stuff, and maybe even other people more than they are willing to love themselves through self-care. Join me as I bitch about it just a little bit.

1) Hair and Nails ‘n Stuff

Well, yes. These things are technically part of the body, but it’s a crime when someone is so caught up in their hair and nails that they neglect to care for the other parts of their body that are screaming for healthy attention. This brings to mind some obese woman who take great pride in their appearance, but only limit it to their hair, nails, trendy clothes, designer handbags and shoes, while neglecting to address a more serious matter – their obesity issue. Why spend 2 hours in a hair salon or 4 hours shopping, but not so much as 15 minutes on exercise?

2) Automobiles and Electronics

Some people (mostly guys) go to great lengths to ensure the proper maintenance and protection of their car and electronics. They get regular oil changes and you won’t find a speck of trash in their vehicle. If the Xbox isn’t working right, they’re quick to troubleshoot the problem and get it back in action asap. But as for their body’s proper maintenance? No way. Will they troubleshoot their weight gain with healthy solutions? No again.

3) Kids and Animals

These two can be interchanged, of course. Because my own kids are a BUNCH OF FRACKIN’ ANIMALS….and vice versa.

I’m not coming down on the people who are good to their kids. You should be good to your kids, dammit. But don’t sacrifice your own well being in the process of caring for your children. They should not be blamed for why you are not caring for yourself properly – whether it be physically, emotionally, or whatever. This type of self care is a decision, and you have to make room for it.

There are lots of moms I hear whine about not being able to shower on any given day, because their baby is too demanding and somehow won’t allow it. Well put the baby in the crib – she won’t melt if she cries – and then go wash up, or take 30 minutes to do an exercise DVD or fix your hair and pluck your chin hairs. If you have kids, please, take care of yourself. I see a lot of spiffed up, vibrant kids walking around next to a run down mom whose weight is climbing as she dons a tumbleweed hair-do and baby food stains on her clothes. That needs to stop.

And then you have the animal lover whose canine gets regular vet checkups and the best of dog food life has to offer. But the animal owner himself hasn’t been to the doc in years and eats McDonald’s for dinner.

Even as I rant about what other people aren’t doing right [insert free speech disclaimer here], I’m also using this an as opportunity to examine where I fall short. My weakest area is putting other people before myself way too often. The negative impact of this self neglect many times shows up in my attitude, my energy level and my physical appearance. But this is going to change….immediately.

I WILL do more to treat myself better. Won’t you join me in this promise?

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