Hey, gurrrls! How you doooin’? Now please don’t get bent outta shape. You should know damn well I’m not a hater. I use that term bitch in a comradery-friendly kinda way, as in “Where are all my bitches at!?” Okay? Now for the sake of this here letter, I consider all you skinny bitches to be lumped in one of two categories:
Skinny Bitch #1) the bitch who cares about her health, works on her fitness and chews on good meals while keeping the sweets and other junk food shenanigans (and alcoholic beverages) to a decent minimum. She is not just slim; she’s also toned, has physical strength, and is healthy on the inside.
Skinny Bitch #2) this bitch takes her slim physique for granted like she’s aesthetically invincible for all time. It’s not that she doesn’t care about her health – she just doesn’t think much about it. And why should she? She eats like sh!t but can still throw on a bikini or skinny jeans with absolutely zero fatty interference. But little does this bitch know, her habits are gonna catch up to her. She could be pimp slapped with a muffin top at any point in time.
I used to be Skinny Bitch #2, so I’m in no way judging you. This is more of a go-tell-it-on-the-mountain and scream it loud throughout all of Slimville that your skinny-bitching may not last if you don’t do something about it right now. I’m writing to encourage you to savor what you have while creating good habits to help maintain your Bitchdom even after you (maybe) get knocked up or just get older and have to fight a slowing metabolism. If that happens, first comes the stomach, then the thighs and ass might start to spread. That’s exactly what happened to me. Why? Because I ignored anything and everything that had to do with living a healthy lifestyle. Dammit!
Oh, my dear Skinny Bitches. It is easier to maintain what you have right now rather than have to work really hard to reclaim it. And let me tell ya, if you have to work to get it back, it NEVER ends up looking quite the same as when you had it the first time around – especially when you’re older. So just appreciate what you have and care for your body from the inside out. Don’t ignore a healthy lifestyle just because your ass is skinny right now. If you do not heed my warnings, you’re gonna be saying, Woe is me! Gone are the slim days that I took for granted when I was eating bacon cheeseburgers and curly fries in my size 4 jeans.
Now get back out there and keep enjoying what you’ve got, bitches. Just be smarter about it from now on.
Love,
Josie
No comments:
Post a Comment